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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29180643">On he goes, to a new life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sippincl2/pseuds/sippincl2'>sippincl2</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Antarctic Empire Faction on SMPEarth (Video Blogging RPF), Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Blood God Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Canon-Typical Violence, Deity Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Deity Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kinda?, Mild Blood, Panic Attacks, Pig Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Technoblade Has ADHD (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade Hears Voices (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), barely beta'd we die like orphan's parents, basically an origin story for technoblade and sbi, but oh well, dadza protec, except techno kills like 7 people, here we go to the tags i forgot/didn't know would be writing, i’ll make it burn good i promise :)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:08:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,904</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29180643</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sippincl2/pseuds/sippincl2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>And though it was scary - to carry this many sins on his back, ever since he was a child - it was also fun. His childhood memories were glittered with fondness from friendly spares, and blood, and laughs on the ring, and the soothing rhythm of crushing bones. He remembered feeling alone, never having had a parenting figure or a friend other than his sword. His people were good with providing to him, but they never seemed to care about his emotional needs. Instead he just stabbed them out of his system.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He was fine living the life he lived. The only thing he ever cared about, the only thing that ever loved him, comforted him when he got hurt, taught him what was right and didn’t punch him when he cried were the voices. They were everything for him. And he would do anything for them.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>So he killed.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>They asked him, so he killed for them.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Technoblade was raised to shed blood, to be a god, a king and a warrior. He had never felt loved, and all it takes are a kind man and his kids offering their arms to make him snap.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>No Romantic Relationship(s), Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>113</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>574</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Bigger than life itself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>not canon compliant this is my story i do what i want!</p><p><strong>CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS</strong><br/>as usual for stories involving techno as an actual blood god, there's violence in this. i tried being vague when i thought it would be too much to describe him chopping/stabbing actual people, and yes, there's some deaths in here but don't worry they don't even get names or faces. i'd say it's pretty safe and mild hurt.<br/>other notable mentions are passing phrases/implied child neglect and physical abuse. they happen more than once and are pretty much the main focus of the angst/hurt.<br/>if any of these make you uncomfortable or are triggers to you, i suggest you do not read.</p><p>also some of this sentences might be awkward idk im just thirsty for techno-centric hurt/comfort and im trying to cut directly to the chase here</p><p>enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Technoblade was born royalty, king in fact. He had never met his parents, not that he’d remember anyway. He had only ever known his citizens and those who were his guardians, his caretakers, his people who had taken him to protect as a child so that he could one day lead their land as his own.</p><p>As he was told all his ancestors did as well, he heard voices. He was a god. A blood god. And his people treated him as such.</p><p>It had been scary at first when the voices first started asking for blood, and he had been compelled to fight, but was still too weak to manage getting out of it alive. He’d grow up with the burden and the duty to become better and stronger so that he could feed the voices and not die like the rest of his family. They died because they became comfortable and lowered their guard. After a life of bloodshed, they always felt invincible. Their victims failed to satisfy their bloodlust until they’d take on a challenge that was bigger than them, and die in combat.</p><p>Not Technoblade. He was the last war god. The heir to their kingdom. He would get strong beyond anyone’s wildest dreams and he would become bigger than the gods of swords, or of archery, the likes of his parents. Bigger than life itself, he willed for something he could take from anyone, and take anyone with of his own, just by pure strength and willpower. He didn’t want their minds or their money - he craved blood.</p><p>
  <strong>blood for the blood god.</strong>
</p><p>The combined power of all his family ran through him, their voices echoed in his mind. They weren't really the voices of his parents, but ones they too had heard when they fought. But as the last one of the gods alive, he was unstoppable. And if that alone wasn’t enough, he trained. He fought and won, again and again, and never came as much as close to dying.</p><p><strong>technoblade never dies!</strong> They chanted in his head. He chanted in his head.</p><p>And though it was scary - to carry this many sins on his back, ever since he was a child - it was also fun. His childhood memories were glittered with fondness from friendly spares, and blood, and laughs on the ring, and the soothing rhythm of crushing bones. He remembered feeling alone, never having had a parenting figure or a friend other than his sword. His people were good with providing to him, but they never seemed to care about his emotional needs. Instead he just stabbed them out of his system.</p><p>He was fine living the life he lived. The only thing he ever cared about, the only thing that ever loved him, comforted him when he got hurt, taught him what was right and didn’t punch him when he cried were the voices. They were everything for him. And he would do anything for them.</p><p>So he killed.</p><p>They asked him, so he killed for them. He couldn’t keep only sparring and mildly injuring his citizens forever. So he ventured out and killed mobs, villagers, pillagers and ravagers (even though he felt a bit endeared by the latter). Every time he would return to his own people with a nether star after a few days, or even just nether skulls, they would cheer for him. And would give their blood to them, to the voices.</p><p>Then, Techno had thought he was happy. He didn’t understand why it hurt to see the families all around him, mothers and sons in warm embraces, the teens he sparred as a kid having their wounds tended to by their fathers, who ruffled their hair proud they’d lost to the king. Techno just stood afar with gritted teeth, tending if not ignoring his own bruises and cuts. He longed for the warm touches of a family he never knew.</p><p>A few times he tried losing on purpose, desperate for the care and attention he thought he’d receive, just like the others did. But from those times he only had feverish memories. His first few attempts as a child only rendered him the scrutiny of the voices and the violence of his citizens, that held him in place in his vulnerable state while they beat him up, just like it’d happen if he lost a real fight, they said. They went easy on him, only leaving him with sprained ankles, bruises on his stomach or mild concussions. But as he grew older and tested his luck, either by faltering in his training or by losing to opponents much older than him, maybe on days he didn’t feel so great, the consequences turned more severe. By the time he was 10 he had learned to not lose, never, ever, lose. The voices made sure of it, as well of his scars from blades that cut deep into him every night, the haunting consequences of his lost duels engraved deep on his sides and grazed on his arms, legs and chest.</p><p>Still, he stayed. And always came back from his journeys. It wasn’t as though as this life was all he ever knew, he had seen the joyous faces of other kids all around the land; and it wasn’t like his guardians kept a close eye on him either, or even pretended like they themselves mattered to him. He could’ve never gone back, or could have killed them all. Although Techno understood from running out of supplies on his journeys just how important it was to have food and the warmth of his palace, to be hugged, loved - it wasn’t for him to take, and the thought made his own sacred blood boil. </p><p>
  <strong>kill kill kill them all blood for the blood god blood for the blood god!</strong>
</p><p>Maybe he should’ve listened to these voices earlier, but he had always been told not to kill his citizens. He couldn’t help but not care about them, but they at least seemed to care about him, or about his power. If he couldn’t be loved then at least he thrived on their cheers and prayers to their blood god, their roars all around him when he was left victorious on the ring. They celebrated his achievements, and even as the years went by and the voices claiming their blood got louder, he was the subject of their adoration. It would take a lot more than this for him to listen to this plead from the voices.</p><p>Maybe it would take him a friend, maybe it would take him a father. It would take him finding love, or a better life. He willed, deep down, that one day he would be held and be safe, lower his guard and not be punished for it. </p><p>All it took him to listen to this chorus was finding a family. But he kept going on, kept training and fighting, venturing out and killing hostile creatures, ignoring the vicious gospel on his ears.</p><p>That is, until he did find a family to love him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>what do we think? this is more of a set-up for when dadza and his bois appear next. i have it all written already, there are probably gonna be  one or two more chapters, i just have to edit them. i would appreciate comments and if you have any critique on my writing it is also greatly welcomed since im trying to improve here! and thanks for reading!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. New friend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time Technoblade tried fighting an ocean elder guardian, he failed miserably. He realized very quickly just how underprepared he was, having spent days on end venturing out to even find a monument in the first place. By the time he got to one, his bag of supplies had deflated considerably, and it definitely didn’t help that he had to bring it with him underwater, meaning all his rations got drenched.</p><p>He had never been too fond of water, despite his own village being located on a depressing swamp. Technoblade was more of an endless burning flames kind of guy. He found he was most comfortable in the nether, even if that meant doubling up his attention; he’d take it over water combat any day (even if blood flowing all around was quite the sight for him).</p><p>Now fighting these guardians? It was a whole new kind of pain.</p><p>He couldn’t help but feel weak and drowsy inside the fortress, but he persisted nevertheless; he fought the creatures until he couldn’t breathe anymore, and after emerging to grasp for air, he always felt grim to look down and see even more guardians swarming at him. Still, he dived back in, refusing to admit defeat.</p><p>Eventually he had to give up though, when all his potions had gone to waste and his food reserve got dangerously low. He had a permanent scowl on his features from having done so little damage, and the voices growled at him, uncoordinated and annoyingly loud. They hated it when he lost, and he did too. But it was better than dying.</p><p>
  <strong>TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES!!!!</strong>
</p><p>He chuckled bitterly at the shouts, getting back to his boat and slowly stirring himself away from the underwater monument. It was ironic, but he agreed with them. He felt a weird sense of pride for knowing better than to go too far and die in battle; he felt as if he was better than all his ancestors for it. </p><p>In a way, Technoblade never died. Because he would never allow it. To him, the mantra was a reminder to exceed, propel forward, but also swallow his pride and know when to retreat. To the voices, it only meant he should go back and fight, no matter his state. They had no sense of self preservation, those bastards, he knew that much.</p><p>Technoblade spent the next few days making his way back home, stopping by the nether to gather some wither skulls and blaze rods, since those were fairly easy for him to get by now. He couldn’t go back to his kingdom without any prizes, but the diversion meant his food parcel had now gone to shit. Luckily he knew the area near the portal he had gone into, and there should be a village not too far from it. He knew of an unexplored desert temple out there as well, and maybe he could go in as a treat to himself before going home; he was well versed on how those worked, and it would be pretty chill while still granting him loot.</p><p>Of course, he had to go get something to eat first. And maybe some regen potions; he had been hit by a wither skeleton right between his eyes and wow, the poisoned cut stung like a bitch. That one would scar, for sure.</p><p>Head down, he entered the busy village, trying to stay low. Even if he had done nothing wrong, he still couldn’t look all these people in the eyes. He had an idea of what he looked like, and the glare he got from the local baker only confirmed his suspicion. Staring at his own reflection on the bakery’s display, he sighed, anxiously waiting for his order to be packed.</p><p>The cut between his eyes really did look bad. Despite having managed to stop the bleeding, the venom from the wither skeleton’s sword made it impossibly worse as it was swelling and looked as though it was infected. Smeared blood that had poured from the wound painted his cheeks, nose and forehead, only bringing out his unnatural scarlet pupils. That last part annoyed him greatly. While he didn’t have the slightest bit of shame from being a god, he did find it irritating how easy it was to tell who he was and all he had done just by looking at his pig-like features.<br/>
It sure was a pain to try and go undercover when anyone could look at his tusks, piglin ears or pink overgrown hair and just <i>know</i> all there was to him. His destiny, his family’s legacy, his power. Being the last piglin hybrid left no doubt. To top it off, it was incredibly unusual to encounter another hybrid, another god, of any kind. Most god breeds kept to themselves, unless of course they were of the offensive type, which, well, usually got them killed.</p><p>One day he would have to wear his crown and name proudly, stop looking down and start resorting to the fear his reputation would strive in order to wander freely. But for now he was just a kid, a kid no one ever taught how to talk to strangers or how to talk at all if not with weapons. Techno hated being around people, stuck in social situations he had no idea how to deal with, hated finding himself unable to stab his way out of something for once.</p><p>He mulled over all of these thoughts as he sat on the floor behind the bakery, eating the bread he had just bought and waiting for his full stomach to start healing his gashes.</p><p>“Man, what happened to your face?” A boy seemingly younger than Technoblade screeched at him from across the gravel path. Both stared in shock at each other, taking in the odd sights: to the kid, a torn looking hybrid; to the teen, a senseless boy who had chosen to be rude to him. </p><p>Grimacing at the harsh words, Techno put his bread away and darted up to his feet. He really did not need this right now. His displeased expression probably didn’t help him appear any friendlier, but meh, he thought to himself. He didn’t want this kid thinking he was a nice cordial guy. The less he engaged the better. The best he could do was refrain from going for the hilt of his sword and walk away, and he did exactly that until he felt a tug on the back of his white dirty blouse.</p><p>At this move he did grab his sword, turning around instinctively. He didn’t attack though; he had learned to suppress this impulse when moving on autopilot, seeing as he did not always want to kill. <strong>kill.</strong> A flash of red blinded Techno, and he struggled to get out of his daze and focus back on the boy, who now quivered backing away from him, while still somehow maintaining a sly - but nervous - smile.</p><p>“Woah there big man, put that back, put that back!” The kid’s light blue eyes were wide and stared directly at Technoblade’s sword, which he hadn’t even noticed had been unsheathed and now hung directed at the ground at his side. Even being directly threatened, the blond haired boy let out a wheezing laugh. “Look, my name is Tommy! The Great! I’m sure you know of me” He paid no attention to the clueless look he received at the remark. “You know I could, yeah, but I’m not gonna hurt you! So anyways what’s your name big fella?”</p><p>Techno couldn’t help but laugh at his statement. What was this attempt at intimidation? <strong>ha, WHAT A FOOL! technoblade never dies!</strong> It was really funny. He might have been laughing at the expense of someone, but still, it was quite rare for him to crack up a real smile, so imagine his confusion at his own reaction. Tommy might’ve seemed like the annoying type, but his joking manner was contagious. That alone was enough to make a small part of Technoblade want to have him around, even if he didn’t realize it immediately.</p><p>“My name is Technoblade.” His monotone voice didn’t seem to carry that much awkwardness for the first time ever. He felt relieved that maybe, just maybe, he could talk to this guy.</p><p>Tommy straightened up his posture, offering Techno his hand for a mockingly polite handshake. “Nice to meet you Technoblade. Cool name. And cool ears you got there. What are you a god of? Blood?”</p><p>Techno was caught a little off guard by the comment. “Well yeah actually.” He sheathed his sword and shook the hand Tommy offered him.</p><p>He watched as the kid’s blue eyes widened at him once more. “Woah. Cool.”</p><p>Now that he thought about it, it was a little odd that Tommy didn’t know about him. This village was fairly near his own, which meant people generally knew of his deeds. Most didn’t like him, and it didn’t make it any easier on him to talk to anyone ever. It wasn’t as if he let himself sound dumb, he just refrained from chatting most of the time. Tommy must have been a traveler, which would explain a whole deal about the kid.</p><p>They stood there for a second too long, shaking hands. Tommy’s eyes glittered up at Technoblade, like he was some kind of hero instead of murderer. Well, there went any chances they had of not having an awkward exchange.</p><p>When Tommy asked him what he was up to, Techno told him he was off to the nearest desert temple, not too far away. So Tommy tagged along, following closely behind and quickly filling the air with nonsensical rambles and excited laughs. Whenever there was a pause in the conversation, Techno was fast to jump in to answer a question or drop a sarcastic one liner. They fell into an oddly familiar pace, as though they had always known this path, navigating each other’s banter.</p><p>It was the most surprising for the older of the two, who had never done anything like this before. Although he still felt a linger of anxiety, Tommy seemed to be just as uncomfortable with the eventual silence as he was, talking whenever there was a breach, which Technoblade appreciated greatly. He listened to his new friend, and in return he got company (why was Tommy doing this for him?) and his personal space (maybe not physically. Maybe too close).</p><p>“What are you doing here by the way? Where is your land?” They finally arrived at the apparently unexplored temple, buried deep beneath a dune of sand, only one tower accusing its location. “Nice sword, my dad says I can't have netherite until I mine it myself. And it's enchanted too, how many levels you got?”</p><p>“One hundred and five.”</p><p>“One hundred and five? Woah holy shit! That's so many levels!” After a brief examination, Techno started digging where the top center should be, diminishing considerably the amount of effort it would take to get in. Less sand to dig up <i>and</i> he would drop straight where he needed. “You know, my brother has like thirty levels I think, but he spends them all the time with useless shit. He’s in the village right now, playing the guitar or whatever. Boring. Hey can i see your sword?”</p><p>“What? No” He barely registered the request, focused on the task at hand while tuning in and out of the conversation.</p><p>“Why? Technoblade, let me see your-“</p><p>Ignoring Tommy, he dropped down, bow in hand in case any mobs had spawned inside the main chamber. Technoblade winced slightly at the force with which he hit the ground, briefly confused as for why it had affected him before remembering just how tired he was. It was weird to think how he could’ve forgotten about all that had happened to him throughout the week, even if only for an hour beside this Tommy guy. </p><p>A deep sigh escaped his lips as he lowered his bow, not a mob in sight. The tension on his shoulders slowly left him, finally lowering his guard. </p><p>Terrible choice.</p><p>As he looked back at where Tommy should’ve landed (honestly he hadn’t looked back once to check if the child was keeping up until now) he caught something leaping at him on his peripheral vision. Lethargic from his brief intermission, he didn’t move in time to grab his weapon and instead got tackled to the ground by his waist.</p><p>What in the world was Tommy doing, trying to wrestle him? This question was less in the sense of <i>is he trying to fight a war god?</i> And more in a <i>why would he betray a friend?</i> kind of way. Techno’s chest ached, and he saw black spots all around him, getting swarmed by rage. </p><p>
  <strong>traitor.</strong>
</p><p>Tommy threw hasty and weak attacks at him, trying to grab his sword, shovel, pickaxe, anything. With a bit more force than needed, Technoblade kicked the boy away and hurried back to his feet. </p><p>
  <strong>FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT</strong>
</p><p>A hoarse laugh cut through their chant, bringing Techno back to the present. He blinked at Tommy, who now doubled on himself, <strong>laughing at the blood god.</strong> No. Not at him. It was just a joke. He could trust Tommy, the kid was just playing around. Techno kneeled down, bringing his shield up between him and this dumb child while he tried to catch his breath.</p><p>
  <strong>DUMB DUMB DUMB GET HIS BLOOD!!!!</strong>
</p><p>Techno groaned to himself. For the first time ever, the voices made him actually annoyed. They weren’t being only inconsequential, they were just flat out wrong. Not the dumb part, but all the others. Tommy wasn’t a traitor, what the fuck? Technoblade might’ve not been the most well versed on friends, but they were being idiots right now. They had to be. Just to spite them, he made a mental note to not go for his sheath if Tommy tried something again; instead he would opt for his shield.</p><p>Throwing one more glance at the boy before turning to mine at his feet, nothing seemed off. He was just now calming down from laughing, and it was a perfect opportunity for Techno to drop into the chest’s room.</p><p>“Ok Tommy, now I'm gonna need you to stop with this. I'm trying to do something here you know?”</p><p>Technoblade waited for a response from behind his shield, pickaxe in hand to get the pressure plate as soon as he went down. </p><p>“Ok.” The room fell eerily silent. They could hear the sandstone block beneath Techno break as he mined it.</p><p>He paused for a second, eyeing the drop. He felt nervous, despite having done it countless times before; his week-long journey and emotional effort had definitely taken a toll on him. He'd be falling way more blocks than he did a few minutes before, and as he reminded himself how his legs had hurt, he dreaded the stunt.</p><p>Gathering up all his courage, he set himself straight. “I’ll be right back. Stay here, do NOT go after me unless you want us both to d-”</p><p>“Surprise attack!”</p><p>Tommy threw himself at Technoblade, who had gotten distracted once again. “Heh?” He steadied his grasp on the shield, blocking the boy’s advance. “Are you kidding me?” Raw screams ripped through his skull as he tried to put away the pickaxe in his other hand. It turned out to be the wrong move, as Tommy took the opportunity to take the shield by both sides, snatching it to himself and making Technoblade falter on his stance in front of the hole he had caved on the ground.</p><p>At once, the room they had been in seemed to escape Techno. He saw the ceiling, then his shield with Tommy, then the ground zoomed past him. He reached out both his hands in a desperate move; only for his fingertips to barely graze the ledge he had been standing on. Sheer horror filled him as he realized: he was falling.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>today i woke up at 6:40 pm :) i do be hurting but techno here helps.</p><p>what do you guys think of tommy's and techno's dynamic? at first i got worried they were too out of character but honestly i'm kinda tired of everyone being so mean to tommy on these kind of stories.</p><p>also i hope you guys enjoyed the longer chapter! it took me a while to write it because i accidentally turned it into a 5k words chapter and i couldn't for the life of me find a way to split it in two, so i just wrote it all in one go and it took me a few days. bright side is next chapter is done already and i'll be posting it soon!</p><p>tysm for all the comments and kudos!! i appreciate a lot your support so far!!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Panic and warmth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><strong>TW OF THE DAY:</strong> panic attacks<br/>please be mindful of your triggers and be safe!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was falling...</p><p>His mind went blank for a fraction of a second. No voices, no hope, not even an inkling of anything but despair. All the air seemed to still in his lungs, and before he could do as much as form a coherent thought he felt a crushing pain on his back spread all the way to his feet. It was so harsh, so brutal - if he had been holding his breath before, now he choked on metal, coughing it all out in an instant.</p><p>Technoblade could vaguely discern the most distinct of scents: blood. He realized this as a desolating chill ran down his spine. His head went a thousand miles per hour, but he strangely couldn’t place one single thought apart. He was always at his worst when he hurt himself, and both his most primal instincts were now fiercely battling each other: his need for blood growing nearly as strong as his need for survival. It was nauseating. </p><p>In the midst of his daze, a hissing sound beneath him pierced his ears. All he had left now was his adrenaline working for him, dulling his pain in favor of his self preservation as he scrambled back to his feet, lurching himself to the farthest corner possible, quickly placing an obsidian block underneath his feet. That was all he could do before it went off.</p><p>Now Technoblade was prepared; although disoriented, he was agile to grasp around the block before he was nearly sent flying by the exploding TNT. He fell behind his improvised but unbreakable barrier, concealed from most of the smithereens that flew at him. He hung like that, feet dangling, until he was certain he heard the last blast.</p><p>He didn’t even look down to check the crater; letting himself fall to the ground wasn’t an option. With a straining amount of effort, he clambered back up the dark purple platform, hastily trying to stand up, now completely exasperated and alert to any sign of threats. His vision was blurry and the remains of the room he found himself in seemed to be spinning somehow. Techno tried swallowing a mouthful of bread, even if his tongue felt unnaturally dry, but it wasn’t enough for him to start regenerating. He felt sick to his stomach, and despite trying to eat more, he ultimately decided against it.</p><p>Hurt, sweating and now wielding a sword with both shaking hands, Technoblade kept darting his gaze from corner to corner, frustrated in his attempts to spot potential enemies. While this should’ve been a good sign, he couldn’t help but feel grim. He was having terrible amounts of trouble focusing his vision, after all.</p><p>Looking up to where he fell from, he couldn’t see Tommy. <i>Tommy-</i> an exploding amount of rage swarmed him. He felt like he could collapse just from the sheer amount of anger he felt at the boy. And he did collapse. His chest tightened and his knees gave away. Regardless of how much he tried to ground himself, he couldn’t even see his surroundings anymore. All he saw was white, and then red, his breathing becoming increasingly more erratic.</p><p>He craved Tommy’s blood, he could almost see it coating the walls… It wasn’t even the voices wishing for this, it was straight up just him, Technoblade, the blood god clamoring for justice. Where were the voices anyway? He couldn’t even really process the question. He had to do something. He had to get up there and rip the kid’s intestines out and then use them to strangle him...</p><p>Technoblade tried rising to his feet once more, but was quickly brought back to reality when the move caused a bursting white-hot pain to wind him again. It ripped him up from his ribs, suddenly making him all too aware of his own crisis. Now that he thought about it, he could taste blood in his own throat. His head ached terribly and his limbs felt tingly and weak. Even his hands, usually sound and firm, trembled while limply wielding his sword.</p><p>What was this amount of pain he was feeling? He had never known this was even possible… Was this how his victims felt before dying? With a stinging pang in his chest Technoblade realized.</p><p>Ah. That was it. He was dying.</p><p>But- <strong>TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES!!!</strong> They almost made his heart stop, they were back. The voices roared thousands of times their favorite mantra, but it was too late. He was done wasn’t he? This - whatever it was that he was feeling - it was too much. It was the most ever conceivable. He was pretty sure he had one or more broken ribs; at any moment now they would burst open his lungs and he would stop breathing. He already had, really. Maybe it had already started, his end. Every inch of his body stung as if he had been pierced by a hundred thousand needles at the same time.  </p><p>The hilt of his sword was now being held on a death grip that made his knuckles white, a jarringly stark contrast from how he had been carrying it moments before. He couldn’t die. Not like this. Not ever. But he couldn’t breathe! There was no air in his lungs, he couldn’t breathe in no matter how much he tried, he was suffocating-</p><p>The sight of two stone blocks being connected to his one obsidian made him flinch violently. He was not sure of what was happening, to him or around himself, but the voices took over and filled it in for him well enough. <strong>kill kiLL KILL KILLKILL KILL!!!!!</strong> He tried rising to his feet, feebly swinging his arms and his weapon, only to fall down on his knees again. His throat felt even heavier. Being helpless weighed him down more than not being able to breathe ever would. Techno felt as if all his insides had shifted and sank at once. He was dying, and was about to be killed.</p><p>But the attack never came.</p><p>Confused, he looked up to see a blur of black and emerald green feathers hovering over, almost… protectivingly? </p><p>In front of him, crouching down on the stone blocks, was a blond man, and in his hands there was a small glass vial that glowed bright pink as he offered it to the wounded teen on the ground. A regen potion.</p><p>What was this? Why was this stranger offering help? The feathers… <i>Wings…</i> He was a god, shit, he was a god, why wasn’t he attacking? It was good that he wasn’t because if he did Techno would be absolutely dead. He was in no state to fight anyone, not even a human child, but a god? Well, at least it would be over before he could feel a thing. </p><p>No matter how hard he willed to be present, to focus on the current situation and on the winged man, all efforts were in vain. Techno was too far gone inside his own head. He worried about his injuries, about the threat this man represented. His state was so precarious that he couldn’t assimilate the preoccupied but gentle expression the man had looking at him. All Technoblade did was notice the man was talking, and he couldn’t hear a thing. His ears were ringing. Like actually ringing, not the voices, but an acute continuous noise. Bringing a hand to his left ear, he could feel blood running down from it.</p><p>Staring at the crimson shine on his fingers did nothing but send him spiraling again. He didn’t want to take the potion, but he was in so bad of a condition that he felt as if he could black out at any instant. <strong> look where trusting people has brought you, pig. kill the man.</strong></p><p>Hearing such an eloquent demand from the voices in the middle of the screeching sound only increased his panic. They were right… And he knew they cared about him, this man certainly didn’t… right? But the voices had been wrong once already that day. And what choice did he have really? He could barely keep himself from passing out, everything was so much: he felt exhausted, confused, hurt and annoyed with himself and with the voices. </p><p>He hastily grabbed the bottle the man had been offering before he could change his mind or hear another word from the voices. It’s contents felt thick and unusually sweet in his dry mouth, despite the familiar metallic flavor comforting him. The first wave of relief hit him immediately, his chest becoming lighter as he finally inhaled  more than the bare minimum amount of air he had been taking in the past few minutes.</p><p>Slowly, all his limbs that had gone numb started gaining back their sensitivity. That part was, quite frankly, horridly painful. He felt as though he couldn’t even scream, just feel it all over, sending hot sparks through his whole body. It was over almost as soon as it started, but to Techno it felt like an eternity. And after the flash of an excruciating feverish pain Techno would certainly remember forever, came an unabated sense of calm, all his aches dulled to a straining soreness.</p><p>The teen slowly rose to his feet, the ringing in his ears fading in time to hear a voice come from above him. “...threw himself in there, i swear dad, I didn’t do anything!” It was Tommy, looking over them from the top floor of the temple, from where he had made Technoblade nearly fucking fly to his own death. He narrowed his eyes, audibly growling at the kid, who screeched and disappeared from the ledge.</p><p>“Can you hear me mate? You okay?” Technoblade turned his attention back to the man who had helped him. Now standing up, he was taller than Techno, but not by much. He talked with such a foreing accent it would be safe to think that, just like Tommy, the man came from far away. Why would he be here anyway? Did Tommy go get him when Techno fell? That would make sense, if he was the boy’s dad. Even so, it would make sense to help if it was his own son dying, sure, but why him? An actual king, wearing a crown; a war god, sporting his piglin features, wielding a netherite sword and covered in blood.</p><p>Why anyone would help his pathetic, <strong>failed</strong> dying self was beyond him.</p><p>“Technoblade, right?” The man spoke again, his tone gentle.</p><p>And ah, there it was. It was ok for Tommy, a literal child, to not know him. But a grown man would have heard his name. Either that or Tommy told him... But the guy was a god. Every god had to know about aggressive breeds, and Techno thought at that moment that he would bet his kingdom everyone knew of the last one of the war gods, who had been roaming around the world on killing sprees since before his balls had dropped.</p><p>Along with that, other questions quickly started to come to his attention. Where was the man from? Did he have a kingdom? Was he one of the aggressives? What god breed was this man? He tried examining him for clues, but he was only met with an expectant face, a reminder that Techno had yet to answer his questions. He slowly nodded, but to which question? Whatever. All of them.</p><p>Smiling softly, the man offered to fly him out of the blown up room they were in, and they did just that after Tommy mined a few extra blocks to make way for his father’s wings. Upon arriving in the main chamber, Technoblade immediately noticed another figure in the room, a slender boy who had curly brown hair and a guitar case on his back. He was even taller than the blond man, but still looked to be in his teens, like Technoblade. The guitar and the fact that he held Tommy near himself by the child’s shoulders was intel enough that he was the older brother Tommy had mentioned earlier. That took Techno just a second too long to realize, seeing these two couldn’t have been more different from each other.</p><p>As soon as their father put the pink haired teen back on the ground in front of him, Tommy let out a loud wheeze. “Techno, you look terrible!” And wow, against his better judgement, and despite his anger, Technoblade couldn’t help but chuckle at that. He looked up to the older brother, who crossed eyes with him and put on a side grin, before he half jokingly looked down at his brother, holding his own laughter in. “Shut up Tommy.”</p><p>All of them had a hard time concealing how funny they actually found the comment, even the winged man. Chortling a little, he put his hand on Techno’s shoulder. The boy found the touch incredibly unsettling, not because he felt particularly threatened still (having recovered now he had a chance, but even then he started having a weird feeling he could lower his guard and not get attacked. Not that he would do that again after Tommy). The touch just felt so unfamiliar and at the same time didn’t; Technoblade didn’t know what to make of it at all, so he just turned to face the man, using the moment as a subtle way to jerk himself away from the man’s grasp.</p><p>The man looked at him fondly and had on a soothing smile when he talked again. “My name is Philza. Do you need a ride home?” He gestured back towards his own wings.</p><p>Techno took the opportunity to gaze at them, still trying to figure out what on earth was this Philza guy. Examining his feathers more carefully this time, he noticed the sparse green ones had occasional tinges of blue sprinkled in, almost like the ones of a hummingbird. That didn’t tell him much though, since there was only one other breed Technoblade had knowledge enough about to be able to pinpoint in the wild: gods of death. They were logical rivals to him, so he had to know about them. And while yes, others could be potentially deadly to him so long as they were gods, only gods of death realistically challenged gods of war. </p><p>Gods of death were vulture hybrids. Their only discernible characteristic were their giant all-black wings, and depending on how many deaths they had caused they had other blackened features, like their eyeballs or scars. Among aggressives death gods were as offensive as war gods, both breeds unrivaled apart from each other. However, offensive seemed to be the last thing Philza could be, and although each of his wings spread out seemed to be twice his own size, they were still smaller than they should’ve been for vulture wings.</p><p>Coming to the conclusion that he at least wasn’t dealing with his biggest enemy here, Techno focused back on the question he had been asked. Oh yeah, a ride home. Seemed nice, but he couldn’t bear the scrutiny that would bring upon him. So he shaked his head in a silent no.</p><p>“Do you have a home?” Phil asked him, more serious this time. Techno promptly let him know that “Yes,” he had a home, yet he couldn’t help but avert his eyes from the man. It was technically the truth, but he had never used to word home to describe his village. No one taught that to him. He knew what it meant; it was just that no one ever told him or made him think of the cold stone walls of his room as <i>home.</i></p><p>“Oh, you have a kingdom right? I think I once did business with your parents.”</p><p>At that Techno couldn’t do much but stare at him, his mouth hung slightly open. Phil knew his parents? He could fully trust him then? <strong>lies lies liar.</strong> Technoblade really shouldn’t be trusting all these people he had just met (one of which had come closer to killing him than any beast in a long time). But there was something about these three that was so light, and fun and gentle; how could anyone feel the golden warmth that radiated from them and not sense as though they had found what was supposed to mean the word home?</p><p>Why they were giving Techno their time of day still remained as clear as mud to him.</p><p>“Uhh, I’ll… get going then,” Was all he could mutter, getting his discarded shield on the floor as he became awfully aware of what to do with his own hands. He finally put away his sword, but kept his hand on the handle as an excuse to look down.</p><p>“Right. We’ll get going too, right boys?” He didn’t look up when he heard Phil’s voice, but he could tell the next sentence was directed at him. “Maybe one day we’ll pay you a visit, eh?”</p><p>He didn’t know what to answer. Instead he just turned away, eyes slightly stinging as he realized he would probably never meet them again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i feel like the first half of this reads like a fever dream, please leave your opinions on the comments!!</p><p>i know i said it would be only 3 chapters long max but hear me out... the original story will actually end in chapter 4, and then im done with all i had for child/preteen techno. HOWEVER i do have a stupid amount of ideas for this universe and sbi interactions (since the story has been lacking those so far) and omg so much weirdly specific lore? like all the god breeds and stuff, i have a backstory for all the sbi boys and aaaaaah anyways.<br/>my question is should i keep writing this? would you want to read that? i would write it in arcs so 4 chapters for this first arc of their origin story/techno’s childhood, then however many chapters for their family dynamic and upbringing, and then 3rd arc would be something i’m not sure about, so we’ll leave it a surprise.<br/>the bright side to this is that each arc will be relatively self contained, that way i can keep up with it and if i ever decide to discontinue the story there would be no loose ends. the focus will still be hurt/comfort (honestly even more than it is now) so let me know if you guys would want to read that!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Ceremonial Fight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the desert temple incident, Technoblade’s life started to change.</p>
<p>For starters, he got horribly sick. Sure, that wasn’t necessarily a first for him, but it certainly wasn’t a common occurrence - then again, neither was getting so close to death. Techno collapsed as soon as he got back to his palace, and his next few weeks were spent wasting away in his room, days passing by in a blur of potion after potion, while the teen writhed in bed slipping in and out of consciousness in feverish dreams.</p>
<p>That, too, was another change. Even after he got better, Techno never stopped having night terrors. They weren’t always nightmares, although he had definitely seen himself rip Philza’s wings apart way too many times to count. Sometimes these were peaceful, mundane wanders to a reality where he had lingered just a bit longer back at the temple, talked to the curly haired teen with the guitar and found out his name, been made fun of by Tommy once more, or let Phil’s hand rest on his shoulder instead of moving away.</p>
<p>As much as Techno hated it, he couldn’t bring himself to move past them.</p>
<p>He stopped going out on adventures altogether. At first because he felt drained from being bedridden; but then it quickly developed into something much more scary. The thought of crossing his village’s gates into the unknown, to be alone again, and know he wouldn’t have anything or anyone to fall back to for help plagued his brain. Every few days, one of his main guardians would imply it was time for him to go, and invariantly the confrontation went the same: his breathing hitched, and he felt nothing but anger. The lack of touch and care from them wasn’t different than before; but ever since Philza and his kids had been kind to him, Techno’s had grown painfully aware of it, as well as resentful.</p>
<p>Instead of exploring the wild, Techno spent his days roaming around the royal halls, gardens and libraries. He eventually found out that Phil hadn’t been lying about trading with the war kingdom; written in scrawny handwriting on what appeared to be a business log was <i>Philza, avian hybrid</i> followed by numbers and products exchanged between him and Techno’s parents. There wasn’t much more to learn from the document, apart from one detail on the top of the page that read: <i> Antarctic Empire.</i> </p>
<p>Technoblade spent a month scouring every single diplomacy record and history book for any mention of this so-called Empire. He laid down on study room floors, trying to recall anything from his politics or geography tutoring, but he couldn’t think of a single mention of their kingdom. Were they so peaceful that they hadn’t even interfered in wars enough to claim their space in history books? How could a reign go as far as claiming an empire status and still fly under the radar?</p>
<p>These questions and many others pestered Techno’s mind, who seemed to drift away from the present more and more everyday. Meanwhile, his guardians were set on having him fight back his apparent delusion in the most literal sense of it: ceremonial fights, public events held in the castle’s arena, became a daily task, instead of the weekly celebration Technoblade grew up with.</p>
<p>Not that he had ever celebrated it much to begin with. Of course he loved to be worshipped, loved to win his fights and to see the velvet red coat he painted the pit’s floor with. Nothing made him feel more complete, more <i>worthy</i> of wielding his titles and hearing the voice’s praise than being competent in combat. But what you have to understand, and this took him awhile too, is that his blood too stained this arena’s floor. From when he was young, naive and weak, from when he still lost fights. Now he knew of the consequences, but his shame would be forever branded over the mark of his family’s crest on the ground.</p>
<p>Realistically, ceremonial fights did nothing to take Technoblade’s mind out of things. He injured his opponents, reveled in the warmth the voices brought him for a while, and then as soon as it started, he got back to his fixation on Philza and the Antarctic Empire. He begged for help from the voices, but they didn’t aid him much in this. Techno sometimes closed his eyes and squeezed them, wishing with every cell in his piglin-like teen body for a sign. Of what he didn’t know. Maybe that he would see them again? Find more about them? Know that they were real and go after them? That they were out there and cared about him, didn’t leave him behind, didn’t forget…</p>
<p>Every time he opened back his eyes, everything was still the same. It sucked, but he refused to admit defeat.</p>
<p>It was good he didn’t because when one day Philza came through the palace gates, then that meant one more point on the winstreak of fights for Techno.</p>
<p>Just seeing him wasn’t a win enough though, and he quickly realized just how big his next challenge would be as soon he saw the blond man come in stumbling, two guards at either side of him and wings tied together with rough rope knots.</p>
<p>Techno had been wandering around the entrance hall, where stood impotently the king’s throne. Being underage, he had never had any legal responsibility as a leader, and that meant that the only reason why he ever sat down here, alone in an empty marble-walled room, was to stare at the ceiling and ponder, in this case about the very man that was about to enter through the front door.</p>
<p>On any other day he would’ve spent hours looking around the room, wondering how the prince and queen’s thrones would’ve looked alongside the one he called his; he would’ve tried on, again and again, every one of his royal crowns and diadems, the ones that didn’t fit anymore and the one he would have to be 18 before he could wear, all passed down for generations, all to maybe die with him.</p>
<p>But today, he held only the all so important crown that was reserved for when he turned of age, sitting down with his own favorite diadem in his lap as Philza entered the hall, dragged by Techno’s own guard.</p>
<p>The teen promptly got up from his chair, diadem forgotten and falling to the ground with a tinkly sound that echoed for way longer than it should have. His heart hammered against his ribcage, too many things to process at once: Phil was <i>real,</i> he was here, he came back, and he’s being held prisoner. He was held prisoner?!</p>
<p>Without missing a beat, the winged man gave a weak chuckle, trying to ease out the obvious tension even as he struggled against the guards. “Hey Techno!” He winced at a particularly harsh tug, but tried joking anyway. “Is this how you treat your guests? Not really what I was expecting!”</p>
<p>Techno’s mind was reeling. It was almost too much, what the fuck was happening? Why was Phil here? Why like <i>this?</i> He starred at Phil wide eyed, breath picking up pace, when he felt a hand on his shoulder that made him jump.</p>
<p>He turned to see one of his guardians looking at him with a placid, unreadable expression that sent a chill down his spine. An attempt to jerk away from the man’s wrinkled hands only earned him a tight grip on the shoulder. He felt on the verge of a panic attack like the one he’d had back at the desert temple, but he couldn’t afford to risk it in front of his guardian.</p>
<p>“You’re bringing him to the pit?” Techno tried saying, albeit with a shaking voice, in an attempt to ground himself and understand the situation. He had to try, but certainly that couldn’t be it, right? “Yes.” Plain and simple, the old man deadpanned.</p>
<p>Technoblade’s eyes nearly screamed for him. “But he’s a god! He has a kingdom!” He scrambled for reason enough to salvage the situation, but he could already feel the voices start to bubble up inside him, excited for what would come next. “We could be doing business with him!”</p>
<p>He felt his stomach turn as his guardian gave him a wicked smile. He knew he clearly looked distressed, and that he shouldn’t be showing this much emotion, but he hadn’t been himself for so long, he didn’t know how to deal with the one person he wanted more to see in the world being sent to the pit, <i>to be killed by him.</i></p>
<p>“The blood god doesn't need business. He needs you to fight.” The old man let go of him, and he wanted to cry, to plead for him to not do this to Phil, not do this to him. Looking around, Techno noticed that Phil had already been taken away. He felt helpless, it was almost unbearable. He tightened his grip on the crown, never having hated it like he did now. His guardian must have noticed, because then came a demand. “Give that to me.” He did. He didn’t care. He cared about Phil.</p>
<p>Technoblade could feel himself trembling from anger. The voices now rang loud inside his head, but surprisingly, they weren’t eager for Phil’s blood; they begged for Techno to impale this guy in front of him. Where the fuck was his sword now that he needed it?!</p>
<p>“I don't know why you're so hesitant my king. I'm sure the blood god will ensure that we have a great fight today.” Techno all but growled, ducking his head in frustration as the elder man went away. His guardian just didn’t understand, Techno wasn’t scared to fight a god, it was so much more than that. He hated whatever was happening here, he hated that he didn’t do more, he felt disgusted at himself for it.</p>
<p>He ran through the palace’s corridors letting his feet guide him, vision blurry. All he needed was his sword, he could take care of this. He gritted his teeth finally coming to a stop, not because he arrived at the weaponry, but instead he found himself in front of the shrine. Why stop here? “What is this?!” He snarled for no one in particular. Had the voices brought him here? “Now is NOT the time for this!”</p>
<p>But as he finished his sentence, Technoblade couldn’t help but notice his breathing slowing down, and the tension in his throat easing up slightly. He let himself fall to the ground, gripping his long pink hair by his scalp. “What am I doing…?”</p>
<p>Indeed, that was a good question. Phil was going to be thrown into the arena, and Techno would be forced to fight him. He had to save Phil… from himself. Maybe he could just not fight, run away as if he was planning on venturing out all along… No, that would be stupid, his caretakers would just hold Philza hostage until Technoblade came back. And if he stays but doesn’t fight… He could take a beating just fine but then what? He would have to fight later anyway.</p>
<p>He thought about that <i>later</i> and considered going away and never coming back. It had been years since he had last thought about it… But there was no chance. Who knew what would happen to Phil if Techno never showed up to the pit. Besides, he didn’t want to leave Philza behind. But even if he did, if he ever ran away… then what? All for him to be homeless? With no food? Aimlessly wandering a world that wanted his head on a stick? He already knew this, but he could never run away. He had no one to go to, and he couldn’t afford such a decision that would only leave him vulnerable to die.</p>
<p>No, he never had a chance, never had a choice. He had to fight for his stance, fight for his kingdom, and he had to stay. If that meant Philza had to d- if that’s what that meant, than so be it. </p>
<p>Technoblade spent however long until the ceremony sat down on the floor, hugging his knees and trying to calm down to a neutral state. All around him were candles and random artifacts from conquered reigns, collected throughout centuries by his family. The walls were intricate sculptures of thousands of shapes that told thousands of stories of wars and victory, and on top of them, only for him, dried blood glazed corners only trained eyes could see, accenting the white walls effortlessly. This room was made to make him and his ancestors feel safe; it was a cater to the voices, so that they would indulge in their own trail and be pleased enough with it.</p>
<p>No matter what he had to deal with, Technoblade knew he could always count on how fuzzy the shrine room made his chest feel, even if the relief from the voice’s contentment was but a quick fix to his problems. He let himself be guided by the feeling, and he almost thought he could actually face Phil when it finally came his time to go to the arena.</p>
<p>Before he entered the battlefield, he was greeted with his favorite sword and his crown, as well as constant shouting coming from the crowd, already sitting down on the bleaches around the pit. The fighting space itself was a circular open area in the center of the room, where Phil already stood, wielding a sword with his hands and wings tied up. </p>
<p>Spying the arena before getting in, Techno’s resolution immediately faltered at how scared Phil seemed to be. He held himself pretty well, his posture as prideful as one could be in his place, but something in his expression let through just how dreadful he was feeling. Techno got the sense that Philza was under the impression that he was about to fight a beast, and the thought of this kind man being scared of him made his heart ache.</p>
<p>But that was his duty… To kill. Philza.</p>
<p>Techno’s throat closed up again. Before he could note to himself that his eyes had started to sting, he stepped into the pit, letting the crowd roar for him.</p>
<p>His heart thumped so loudly he swore he could have reached for his own neck and feel it jumping. He walked slowly to the center of the ring, aware that his guardians were definitely in the crowd watching him. His head was up, his shoulders pushed back; he tried keeping a straight face as Phil’s own dropped at the sight of him.</p>
<p>Both contenders stared at each other, neither making an advance. The cheers died down a little. <i>They were taking too long.</i> Philza seemed to be utterly horrified. Noticing this Techno’s guts burned. For the first time here, he felt… ashamed. For being a murderer, a monster. For being this horrid creature Phil now looked at in disgust.</p>
<p>All the teen wanted was to run and hide, or at least turn away, avert his gaze, <i>anything,</i> but he couldn’t. His eyes were glued on his opponent, on Phil… who then dropped the sword.</p>
<p>Despite having seen it happen, the loud clunking of the sword hitting the ground still startled the teen. His eyes went wide, darting from the sword on the ground, to Phil, to his own sword. He felt so dizzy he barely noticed the man started carefully approaching him as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to keep himself from hyperventilating. </p>
<p>He shouldn’t be having pity on a man he met once and barely spoke to, but it felt so wrong to ignore whatever it was that this man had become to him over the past months. It felt too wrong to even think about killing Phil, not to mention that he was also a god and a fully grown adult who could maybe kill him if not for the god roaring inside his skull. He would not die, <strong>blood blood for the blood god, technoblade never dies kill kill kill kill</strong></p>
<p>He grasped his sword tighter, that was it. <strong>blood!</strong> He felt himself trembling, he’d woken up the voices. <strong>BLOOD!</strong> It was now or never, and in that moment, he felt a soft touch on his wrists.</p>
<p>Technoblade’s eyes flew open, only now realizing the tears that streamed down his cheeks. Towering over him was Philza, a gentle smile on his face. Immediately, Techno felt something melting in his chest, tears smudging his vision.</p>
<p>
  <strong>TRAP TRAP KILL HIM BLOOD!</strong>
</p>
<p>Next thing he knew, the man had thrown his tied hands over Techno’s head, pulling him close in a tight embrace. The teen still held his sword with shaky hands, it's blade dragging on the wooden floor. Why hadn’t he disarmed Techno? Did he not know he could get killed at any second? Did he not know he was fighting a war god?</p>
<p>“BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!” He faintly heard a cry, a war cry, as his head echoed loudly. <strong>blood for the blood god. blood for the-</strong></p>
<p>At once, Techno’s vision went white with rage, suddenly aware of his surroundings again. His people. They would fight him. They would get him. <strong>stab. blood.</strong></p>
<p>He quickly bucked away from the Phil’s grasp, pointedly avoiding his gaze as he roughly grabbed his forearm with one hand while freeing his wrists with his sword in the other. Techno scanned the arena, spotting a few people already descending into the pit from the bleachers, fiercely wielding all kinds of weapons. Most of them were severely underprepared, not having expected for the king to lose as he rarely did. This he could manage.</p>
<p>Running away from Philza and from the center of the arena, Techno grabbed a rectangular wooden stool he usually sat on while waiting between matches. He quickly took it’s two legs off and held it by a handle he himself had put there under the top board, intending to use it as a shield. Techno usually hated shields, but not right now. Not against adults, his people, who he would not let hurt him or Phil, no matter what.</p>
<p>
  <strong>STAB STAB BLOOD!!!</strong>
</p>
<p>His skin crawled from thirst. He felt more awake than ever, vision clear despite having cried just seconds before. He couldn’t tell anymore which were the cries of his people and which were the voices inside his head, but he wanted blood. He could almost smell the cartridge smeared on the wooden floor. He needed it. They needed it. He lurched forward, mouth watering.</p>
<p>He got back to the center of the ring just in time to block a woman launching herself at Philza, who had been struggling to untie his wings. Techno could only see a splatter of crimson, not sure of what he was doing or what was happening anymore. He couldn’t care if they were dead. He circled around where Phil stood, stabbing multiple people as they came close to him. He vaguely registered the shine of the sword Phil had left behind in the hands of a random man. He wielded it carelessly. Even being much older than techno, most of these people couldn’t get so much as close to him.</p>
<p>Usually, if he lost, he would never have fought any of them. He just accepted the shame, and though he sometimes tried to run or stab out of instinct, the voices in his head would always make sure he gave in, screeching at him what a failure he was. This time though they didn’t die out, didn’t feel like the fight was over yet. They beamed at the much bigger fight he had taken on, one that had just started, despite the amount of blood he had already on his sword. <strong>BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!</strong> They chanted, the words glistening in his ears, <i>proud</i> of him. </p>
<p>Techno jumped around weightlessly, a sly grin ripping away his lips. A part of him told him that this was wrong, afterall it was his citizen’s bodies that littered the ground at his feet. These people had put all their faith in him, in all his bloodline for generations. He wondered what his parents would’ve thought at the sight of him right now. Would they have cared? Thought of him as a coward, traitor maybe? Nah, probably not, if the voices were anything to go by, they would probably cheer him on.</p>
<p>He was sharply taken away from his daze as he felt himself get dragged backwards by the collar of his white blouse. What- but there was no one to attack him from his back, he made sure of that, even if he had fallen into his familiar rhythm of fighting, there was no way he had let his guard down even for-</p>
<p>A sharp pain slit away his chest, and he cried out, panicking. He hastily looked around, unable to identify the threat, only now noticing about 7 people on the ground around him, and no more people entering the ring.</p>
<p>Looking up, he finally focused on the face of the blond man, holding him tightly to his side. His wings were now free, and Techno could see a dagger lathered in blood on the man’s other hand as he rubbed the back of it on his own face, smearing blood all over himself.</p>
<p>While techno’s eyes shined at the sight, the man wore a tired gaze, only accompanied by a gentle smile. Slowly, Techno regained control of his breathing, bringing his hand to his chest that no more ached. Looking down, he noted calmly that there was no blood on his fingers. In fact, his shirt wasn’t even ripped. He hadn’t been attacked, he had just panicked.</p>
<p>He took in their surroundings, the bodies on the floor only eliciting a soothing hum from the voices. Not a moving person in sight. Even the guards at the arena’s exit had fled, or maybe they were amidst the corpses? Techno couldn’t tell. </p>
<p>Letting himself get turned around by two firm hands that rested on his shoulders, he looked directly into Philza's eyes as he kneeled down.</p>
<p>“Hey mate, you need a new home?” There was the slightest hint of a laugh there, but techno could see he was dead serious. His head spinned around at the proposition - after what had just happened, despite knowing close to nothing about Technoblade, Philza had just offered him… a home? The kind man who he had been dreaming about for months… wanted to take him in? Techno himself couldn’t help but crack a shy, but genuine smile, nodding wordlessly. A <i>home.</i> Yes, he needed a new home. </p>
<p>If felt too good to be true, but here he was, leaving his old life behind.</p>
<p>And on they went to the Antarctic Empire.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>end of the first arc!!!</p>
<p>im dying to know what you guys think of this so please leave a comment down below! </p>
<p>hope i didnt leave any loose ends apart from details that only come into play later... also tysm for 100 kudos and 1k hits!!!!!means a lot fr :')</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Turning Around</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Technoblade and Philza were met with little to no resistance on their way out of the War Kingdom. </p><p>Not surprisingly, the king slaying his own people in a rather uncharacteristic outburst did not encourage many to step in their way (plus Techno knew for a fact that at least some of his citizens were glowing from their god shedding blood, despite also losing their leader). The two even took their time going back to Techno’s room for him to get some of his belongings, even if he didn’t have much to bring with him.</p><p>After getting out of the pit, Phil seemed to quickly go from happy-but-strained to straight up ecstatic. He tagged along in silence, but Techno saw something light up in the man’s eyes leaving the corpses behind that had never been there in the desert temple, or any other time he had cared to look. It made the teen glad to see something so genuine come from Phil, who usually bared soothing smiles or laughed candidly, yet something tugged inside of him at the sight. He assumed it might be because he didn’t really know Phil, but something felt amiss.</p><p>Techno convinced himself it was just his anxieties getting at him after all that had just happened. He <i>had</i> just given up on his whole life for a random guy. Strangely, he felt like he didn’t care. The voices were silent, but he could feel the warmth from inside, because they were happy and he was as well. He allowed himself to not worry about what the future held for him apart from being around Philza’s family (he hoped) and packed away his usual travel things. Granted, they had already been neatly put together in a bag for him months ago, but he still checked everything, just like he did everytime before going on adventures. This was all this was after all, right? His last time going out. Never to turn around.</p><p>Apart from his usual travel bag, there were a few extra items Techno had to bring with him. He opened his simple wooden wardrobe specifically looking for three things. The first was on the top drawer, a carefully crafted silver box where he kept his crowns and diadems. He knew there was one missing, the most important one he handed to the guardian that took Phil in as prisoner. That traitor. Techno felt like he had to have that crown back, even if he would never get to be the all powerful king of this land. Nonetheless, he would drop it again if it meant going away with Phil.</p><p>The second item he looked for was in the only other drawer, pinned to the collar of a white satin blouse neatly folded on the bottom of a pile of clothes on the far back. It glimmered at him when he brought it into the evening light that showered his room, and he took a second to let his piglin-ish brain be fascinated by the earring he held. A polished diamond hanging from a gold chain so delicate it looked like a single fabric thread. It had been his mother’s, and it was the only thing Techno had left from her. He put it in the silver box along with the crowns, tucking it away so it wouldn’t get tangled.</p><p>For the last item, he sat down on the ground, the drawer still open, and poked it from underneath, getting a fake bottom to pop out. Inside was a red velvet cape, lined with white fur along the neck. He put it on his shoulders, getting up and noticing how heavy it felt, the hem being dragged on the floor as it was just a size too big for him. This cape he had inherited from his father, and you could tell it had been made to a king even if him, the actual king, clearly never wore it.</p><p>Technoblade turned to look at himself on the body mirror tucked away on a corner of the room. He took in just one deep breath, and a shiver ran down his spine as if on cue. In front of him stood a bloodied teenager, dressed in his everyday clothes - white long sleeve blouse and black slacks - except his usual impeccable appearance was now ragged and torn. His shirt was untucked and crumpled up and sweat made it cling to the skin of his chest, his silky pink hair was a mess where it cascaded down past his shoulders, and somehow he had a cut on his face, going from his cheek to his jawline, the bright ruby of blood complementing his red eyes - and bringing his attention to the scar he now had between them, from the day he met Philza.</p><p>Despite how rough he might have looked, the nature of the situation did not escape him for even one second. He sneered at how he was able to look at his own bleeding face and not spiral, giving how much blood he had spilled today. The voices were calm, and warm, and so was his father’s cape and Philza’s presence just outside the door. Technoblade wasn’t one to be emotional, specially about people he never met or knew so little about; but for some reason it all just felt so <i>right.</i></p><p>It felt right to bring what he had of his parents with him, now that he was giving up their Kingdom. It felt right to kill his people, it felt right to save this stranger he felt like he knew so well, but at the same time didn’t. He was giving his whole life away because of him! Oh yeah, okay. Let’s not think about what that meant. It just felt right to go away, to go with Phil, to <i>trust</i> Phil.</p><p>So Technoblade focused on that and held his head high, gathering his things inside his travel bag and going out to meet the man waiting for him on the hallway. No one had bothered them so far, but they still weren’t out of the palace. It was probably wiser to just leave already. </p><p>To an outsider, it would've looked like an odd scene. A torn looking man, sitting down on the ground, staring at a bloodied dagger in his hands, deep in thought; above him, an even more torn looking teenager, dressed in royal attire, both in a desert stone walled hallway, tinted in that magical golden afternoon light that makes everything look sacred. Except there was nothing sacred in two murderers coming together over the lives they took away.</p><p>Despite all of this, when Philza looked up, he smiled. A big, unapologetic smile, excited about something Techno knew nothing about. And he smiled back. A raw, genuine smile, because he felt safe for once.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>new arc, slow start, i know! but soon we'll get more!</p><p>thanks for all the support, please comment if you feel like it, every little comment makes my day!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Farewell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>No amount of excitement would be able to hide the tinge of uneasiness Techno felt as he made his way towards the War Kingdom’s palace’s gates alongside Phil. He kept looking around for the guardian he had spoken to earlier, as taking that one crown he had back was the only thing Techno felt like he had to do before going away forever. Even if he tried acting natural about it, he was sure his incessant darting gaze and drumming of fingers near his sword were enough of a tell that something was going on with him. Phil didn’t seem to acknowledge it though, following Technoblade’s lead apparently unassumingly.</p><p>They were about as close to leaving as possible, already outdoors in the castle’s  front garden when Techno spotted him patiently standing ahead on the path that would lead them outside the palace grounds. The fact that his guardian had been standing there, waiting for them when every other servant seemed to have fled made the teen immediately wary. The voices inside his head had been silent since the fight in the pit, but his own insecurities were still very much present no matter how much he tried to ignore them in favor of focusing his attention on leaving with Phil.</p><p>He approached the old man after a brief exchange with Philza to let him know that he could go ahead to wait for him. Technoblade felt he had to do this alone, even if Phil’s presence a few meters down the gravel path never really left him feeling lonely. </p><p>“Are you going already, my King?” His guardian said, stern words tinted in irony. Despite sporting a seemingly impassive look, there was a bite to his gaze that Techno knew all too well to ignore.</p><p>Briefly forgetting his stance, his stomach sinked at the sight. Talks like this always meant danger, and he knew very well how he was supposed to answer his guardians: be assertive, hide emotions, don’t show any weaknesses. He settled on being brief, voice stoic. “Yes. I am.”</p><p>“And I suppose you think you’re not coming back?” The man said, letting his face turn into a twisted scowl. What was that supposed to mean?! Techno held back his words, but his expression was clearly one of surprise. He didn’t plan on coming back as long as Phil gave him a chance to have a new life, yet still he felt like he shouldn’t disrespect the man before him. “That’s just what the bodies told me,” His guardian supplied, flashing a nasty grin at the piglin-hybrid teen.</p><p>Techno kept silent. To actually think of what he was doing or give this guy his time of day were frankly the lowest items on his list of wants right now. He refused to elaborate even to himself just how inconsequential he had been up until now. Instead of letting this old man get in his way he focused on remaining calm and looked for signs that his crown was with the man.</p><p>It was, and very poorly hidden given that he had piglin blood in his veins. The polished glitter of the gold couldn’t have escaped him if it was covered by 12 layers of clothing, nevermind being tucked away behind the man’s waist, just barely attached to his belt. Techno began pondering if he should just go for it and snatch it from the man when his hoarse voice took him from his thoughts.</p><p>“Where are you going to, exactly?” The elder said hastily. Something about the way he spit his words didn’t sound right to Techno. He looked the man dead in the eyes, going as far as cocking his head to the side and squinting slightly, studying him. Had Techno been staring too much? Was the man nervous? His smile faded, and there was no ‘my King’ or ‘may i ask’ to be heard. He feared the blood god, and still defied him. At least there was some honor there.</p><p>“I’m going to the uh…” He straightened himself, cautioned with his tone as he himself wasn’t too sure of where he was headed, “The Antarctic Empire.” </p><p>All he could do was hope that was it. Philza had barely talked to him about it, just said ‘Want a new home?’ and that was all. Come to think of it, Techno was being way more than inconsequential. Hope felt like such a stupid thing to base all his future on, and his guardian seemed to pick up on it.</p><p>“And what do they do there?”</p><p>His cold stare said it all. He knew what he was doing. Techno didn’t. And it made him furious.</p><p>“It’s none of your business,” He snarked back, struggling to maintain his unbothered facade.</p><p>“I imagine the Antarctic Empire isn’t home to many aggressive breeds, is it?” The man said back, raising his voice. Now they were both aggravated. Techno took a step back instinctively, right hand flying to his hip where rested his sword. He knew his guardian was trying to make him backtrack, and he was quite literally walking into his trap. “What are you going to do with the voices? You’ll kill his people once they’re loud enough. Or will you come back here crawling with the blood of your little friend on your hands?”</p><p>Techno froze. There it was. The last thing he wanted to think about right now. The voices. </p><p>The War Kingdom was nothing without Technoblade. They barely had a military force. No wonder Techno’s guardian was so invested in making him stay; they had always relied on the royal family for everything. They were no threat. Now the blood god - he was more than a threat. Techno knew this better than anyone. Before today the voices were all he had. It felt nice to blackout mid fight and feel all warm from the slaughter afterwards. But now… He wasn’t so sure anymore. Philza had looked terrified of him earlier, Techno felt like a monster… He hated that Phil feared him even if only for a split second. He didn’t want to be like this. He couldn’t really see Phil right now, but to know that he was here for him was more than enough to remind him what he was doing and what he had already done.</p><p>“I’m not coming back, you don’t need to worry about that.” Techno said, putting his shoulders back and lifting his head up.</p><p>“Great to see you’re sure of your actions <i>my King,”</i> He spits the words, “Because after you cross those gates you will not be welcome back in this Kingdom.”</p><p>Techno snickered. Oddly enough, that was fair. It was still his choice though; you can bet he would never let himself be kicked out of his own reign.</p><p>“Yeah, whatever,” He held out the palm of his hand, “Now give me back the crown.” He would be lying if he said that his assertiveness didn’t surprise even himself. It made it a lot more fun to notice how it had surprised the old man too, whose face dropped at the command.</p><p>Seeing him falter but still not give in, Technoblade pressed further. He leaned in, lowered his voice to a near growl and said, “This land might not be mine anymore, but all that you have here is my family’s. It's all mine.” He took a step forward, all but laughing to see the old man take two steps back. “I’m the rightful heir to all of this and you might not answer to me anymore, but I'm saying this right now,” He motioned to the elder in front of him with his chin, “Give me the crown back.”</p><p>In less than two seconds the crown was in his hand.</p><p>Techno let go of a low chuckle, turning away and never looking back. It might’ve been the power trip or finally being free, or both. He couldn’t really pinpoint what was so funny. </p><p>He met with Phil outside the palace gates, smiling broadly. He took a second to ceremoniously put the crown down on top of his head, and it immediately sunk a bit too low, sliding to the side as it was obviously too early for him to wear it.</p><p>Phil let out a hearty laugh. </p><p>“You ready to go?”</p><p>He nodded, crown sinking further down his head until it covered one of his eyes. They both laughed, and went on their way.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>look at me posting before 4 am!!! any thoughts on this one? ngl i'm pretty proud of it.</p><p>again, thanks for all the support, kudos and comments!! i appreciate it so much, from the bottom of my heart!!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Testing the waters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They made it out of the War Kingdom’s village in silence. Phil led the way, crossing miles of swampy land before they finally arrived at the nearest nether portal. It didn’t come as a surprise to Techno that they would be taking this route, since travelling in the nether was undoubtedly the fastest way to get around; yet he still felt incredibly relieved once they stepped into the obsidian archway, glad that they wouldn’t be flying all the way to (presumably) Antarctica.</p><p>Phil kept to the highways that stemmed from the portal. Techno rarely took these; he was way more comfortable browsing the uncertainty of the wild nether than most people. Nevertheless, the highways were simple enough to understand: from every portal sprawled four, one in each cardinal direction; and they were all connected at one point or another. He noted to himself they had taken the south one and settled for a long journey on the monotonous lane, which was maybe the feeblest thing on his current list of itches.</p><p>The longer they walked, the more he felt himself zone out. He appreciated that Phil had let him be, as it gave him time to get acquainted, to finally breathe.</p><p>Before long he slipped into a more relaxed version of himself, the one he knew from his adventures. Taking time away from his Kingdom always felt like a breath of fresh air, so imagine what leaving forever must have felt like. Something as mundane as keeping his posture straight suddenly became much simpler, the ghost of a heavy weight having finally been lifted from his shoulders.</p><p>Undeniably, he still carried some hefty baggage. Not so much his travel bag or his father’s cape, but his newfound worries of what would be of his future.</p><p>Yet none of that could overshadow the joy that filled him as he realized: he was finally free.</p><p>Not only that; from everywhere he looked came a different fuzzy hug. The familiar sound of lava pops and the engulfing heat of the nether, the serenity of the deserted highway itself, and of course, Philza beside him. It felt like a soft embrace, just being able to be where he was at.</p><p>He took this time to calm himself, taking deep breaths one at a time. Not once did Phil seem bothered by this, and while he was grateful that he didn’t, their previously comfortable silence started to grow dreadful to Techno. He felt anxious because while Phil’s presence was reassuring, it at the same time wasn’t. Phil felt like the safest thing Techno had ever known, while still being too much of a wild card, too many questions attached. </p><p>Techno wanted to talk to him, sort out some answers, but he found that he couldn’t bring himself to start from anywhere. He kept glancing at Phil anxiously, trying to figure out what to say, until their eyes met for a second, and Techno avoided his gaze. He hated it, but thankfully Phil offered him an out.</p><p>“You murdered quite a few people back there, eh? How many was it? Ten?” Phil starts with a grin. Techno sighs, relaxing a bit noticing the unaccusing tone. </p><p>“I'm gonna be honest, I don't know. I lost count.” Keeping his voice mostly monotone, he allowed himself a chuckle.</p><p>He wasn’t sure it was the right move until he got back his answer in the form of a candid, wheezing laugh. </p><p>Techno smiled. Maybe if he was just honest he would be okay. He might’ve not known how to read Phil just yet, but they seemed to bounce off of each other really well. </p><p>“You don't do that much do ya?”</p><p>“What, stabbing people just for fun? No! Who would do such a thing?” </p><p>They both laughed together.</p><p>“Alright! You'll fit right in then,” Phil’s grin lingered, though it felt a bit more serious. </p><p>Despite his joking sarcasm, there was a truth to what he’d said. Technoblade had only ever killed people two other times in his life, when they had been brought as prisoners to the pit like Phil had. Apart from those, all fights had always been in good sport. Why Phil had even been brought to be executed was still a mystery, although Techno wondered now whether his guardians were trying to get a reaction out of him to make him get out of the palace again. If that was the case then congrats to them - it had clearly worked. </p><p>There were still other questions Techno needed asked, but he puts them on hold for two seconds to process Phil’s answer. Of course he wouldn’t want him killing his citizens. That much made sense. Now the fit in part - if no violence would imply ‘fitting in’, then his guardian was right afterall. Wherever he was going would not be welcoming an aggressive god breed giving into primal desires just because. </p><p>This was a problem. While the last thing Techno wanted in the world was to upset Phil, he didn’t particularly want to upset the voices either. They were such an important part of him, he didn’t even know if it was physically possible to refrain from catering to them. He paused in his head as he noticed - he had never even tried. Why would he? The voices hugged him, made him warm and <i>worth something.</i> Phil on the other hand was a promise of a future like the ones he’d seen for other kids, hopefully of a new life somewhere else, and that was it. All because… Why exactly? Because Phil felt like it? </p><p>Techno had already given up his life away without looking back because of this, but apart from giving him food and a bed they had never given him much reason to stay. Now the voices too - how was he supposed to give them up?</p><p>He looked at Phil, trying to work inside his head how he would go about this one. About fitting in… He decided to tackle some of his other troubles.</p><p>“Fit in the Antarctic Empire?” </p><p>“Well yeah, that's where we’re going,” Phil supplied as if it was obvious, despite never having mentioned it. </p><p>Ok, so he really was going to Philza’s reign, not just being dropped off somewhere random. That seemed now like a silly concern; but look, you never know, man. He hoped he could see Tommy and his brother again soon. Techno wouldn’t admit it, but he wanted them here with him and Phil. They would instantly make the mood lighter. It was good, however, that they weren’t. He would never have had the stomach to enter a fight against them three.</p><p> “How many did you kill?” Techno had been curious about this one. He could still see the smeared dried blood on one of Phil’s cheeks as the winged man glared at him. There was something different about his gaze, but Techno couldn’t tell what, so he tried to make himself clearer. “Back there?”</p><p>Phil tore his eyes from him and instead fixed them ahead of them on the highway. He was no longer smiling, but he wasn’t scowling or anything similar either. He just answered, simply:</p><p>“None.”</p><p>Oh.</p><p>But what about the blood, and the dagger- well nevermind. Techno supposed he really didn’t know the guy. He could've been able to defend himself while not killing his attacker, that would've made sense. That would explain the blood. And maybe Techno had misread him completely when he thought he had seen his eyes glimmer at the bodies at the pit. Phil had been happy about Techno all along, not about the slaughter… </p><p>Putting it this way, it made him feel so stupid. Just because the teen had liked their um- <i>bonding experience,</i> that didn't mean Phil was all for it. </p><p>Techno had yet to take the time to know the real Phil, not the idealized version he had created in his head throughout the past months. So he asked what maybe should’ve been his first question.</p><p>“What hybrid are you?”</p><p>“I'm a hummingbird, kinda scuffed though.” He looked to the side, spreading his wings a little, directing Techno’s attention at them. </p><p>“Scuffed?”</p><p>“Yeah, it has to do with my mom's genes, kinda hard to explain. Basically not all my feathers grow like they should, but I'm still a hummingbird.” Techno looks blankly back at him. </p><p>Phil must have figured none of what he had just said made sense to him, because he went on, “See how most of my feathers are black? And only a few of them are green and blue?” Now he spread both wings as far as he could, making himself almost hover over his next few steps. “I have a thing that makes them not produce enough pigment. So instead of gradient blue-green wings I have these. But that’s ok, because it doesn’t make me any less of a hummingbird.” His bright smile was back. “Those are gods of nurturing by the way. We farm land, take care of animals, injuries, people. You know, that kind of stuff.”</p><p>Techno nodded, making note of the situation he was putting himself in. It wasn’t ideal, but getting his answers definitely helped him feel a lot more at ease. </p><p>They spent the rest of the walk in silence, Techno trying to focus on the nether and the warmth, while his chest grew cold. His mind reeled with the questions he couldn’t ask. How was he going to deal with the voices? Would they hate him when they came back from their high? How was he supposed to act when they asked for blood? Would they shout at him? Oh, they would. He knew it. </p><p>But he would resist. He had to. Phil was not only his only option right now, he was worth it. Or techno thought he should be. He was apparently a god of nurturing, of all things! He would never mean harm. Techno was safe. He had made the right decision. He just had to figure out how to go from here.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Is the dialogue ok? Is the lore too confusing? PLEASE enlighten me i have no beta readers and need to know.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Antarctic Empire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>looking for a beta reader! hmu on <a href="https://twitter.com/limedyke">twitter</a> if interested!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A chilling breeze greeted them outside the portal they crossed on the end of the south highway.</p><p>The difference in temperature was specially jarring to Techno. He hugged the soft velvety fabric of his father’s cape flush to his chest, scrunching up his nose as his eyes started to sting.</p><p>Phil guided him up the side of the mountain they had been transported to, along a stone pathway softly lit by lanterns that were set on the ground. Apart from the path, everything seemed to be covered in a thick layer of snow, painting the landscape in shades of white and gray. Even the sky above them was dull, no stars to be seen as the start of the morning light hid them behind a layer of a silvery blue. </p><p>Techno saw Phil stop just as he reached the top, looking back to give him a smile. As the horizon came into view on the other side, Techno had to stop too.</p><p>At last, they had arrived at the Antarctic Empire.</p><p>Before them stretched a vast valley, thousands of houses and quiet streets softly glowing in its center. Two spruce forests enclosed the city, one on each side; and directly across from the mountain they were on, on top of a hill, stood a magnificent primarine castle, it’s turquoise tinge complemented by the blankets of snow and warm lights it looked upon.</p><p>Techno gawked at the view. It was breathtaking. Despite the cold, he felt his heart melt as a genuine smile found its way into his lips.</p><p>Instead of crossing the city, they climbed down the mountain and followed the outskirts of the forest on the left. Techno spent the whole way taking in their surroundings, especially the palace ahead of them. When they reached its hill, Phil took a staircase that led them to the other side. </p><p>There they found a friendly cabin, significantly smaller than the prismarine castle, while still having plenty of space for a family of six to live in comfortably. The area it was in was flat enough that the house had a garden attached, as well as a wooden porch.  </p><p>Perched on this porch was a crow that Techno watched glide in Phil’s direction as they approached the door.</p><p>“Aye there, how’s it going?” Phil said, offering a shoulder for the bird to land on. The crow cawed in response, and Phil hummed casually, opening the door.</p><p>Once inside, the wooden floorboards creaked gently as if to greet the three, announcing their presence to an otherwise silent living room. It was furnished in a simplistic yet elegant way, dark wood contrasting white concrete walls and dashes of green in carpets, cushions and even in a beanbag that rested on the back near an unlit fireplace. Nevertheless, the house was incredibly warm. Techno wondered if Tommy and his brother were up the staircase, sleeping soundly underneath cozy blankets… </p><p>He sighed. He hadn’t noticed just how tired he was until now.</p><p>To their right and past a door was a kitchen, complete with a table for four where Techno sat down while Phil busied himself with pans and cabinets. Phil’s winged friend rested patiently on his shoulder, eventually cawing here and there, to which Phil responded with hums and nods. </p><p>Techno could feel himself dozing off to the rhythm of their strange conversation and the clanking of silverware. His eyes felt heavy, but he refused to let them shut. Phil said something about how the boys should be up soon, but Techno didn’t really catch all of it; he blinked harshly, trying to shake the drowsiness away.</p><p>“Hey Techno?” Phil called somberly from over his shoulder. The quick mood change caught Techno’s attention, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat before humming to let Phil know he was listening. “I need to know if there is anything else you have to tell me.”</p><p>“I… I don't think I do?” Techno said, worried that he’d missed something. All he could think about was that he still didn’t know how he should be paying Phil back, but this didn’t feel like it.</p><p>“Maybe something about hearing voices in your head?”</p><p>Techno’s heart sank. The way Phil said it, so serious- something was off, but Techno didn't understand what.</p><p>“What about them?” Techno rushed, his heartbeat suddenly picking up.</p><p>Phil turned off the stove and turned to face him, a dishcloth still in hands. “It's okay if you hear them, but I need you to tell me if you do,” What- <i>if?</i> Didn’t all gods hear- Was hearing voices not <i>normal?</i></p><p>Phil smiled apologetically when he noticed Techno was completely frozen in place. </p><p>“Do you know why you hear them?” he asked. </p><p>Techno remained silent. Phil sighed and took the seat across from him, not even acknowledging the crow leave his side to rest on a nearby windowsill. “How much do you know about how gods work?”</p><p>He’d figured there was a possibility Techno didn’t know much on the matter, given his reaction when Phil had mentioned what god breed he was.</p><p>“I know the basics,” Techno offered hesitantly, “We’re just like humans, but have certain animal features that identify each breed. I don't know much about many breeds,” he let his gaze wander, focused on recalling what he knew from himself and death gods. “Each breed has a thing that drives them, but it’s not a superpower like humans like to think. We just really want specific things, like an instinct that makes you insane.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Phil said, offering him a weak smile. “Not the insane part though.”</p><p>Techno looked like he had just been hit in the head. His face was a mix of confusion and worry, yet his eyes held a glint of genuine curiosity somehow. Phil forced himself to relax, trying to ease the tension between the two. </p><p>“Oof, okay,” Phil muttered, snorting a little. “I’ll explain a few things because i feel like you don't know much about this stuff. But if i go over shit that you’ve been told already, please know that I'm not trying to underestimate you in any way.” </p><p>Techno took in a deep breath and nodded, appreciating Phil’s care in taking time to say this before he went on.</p><p>“You’re mostly right. However, there is one more thing that all hybrids have in common, that is the reason why we’re called gods as well. One day, when we die, we will transcend death.” Techno’s jaw dropped, but Phil kept going, “All of our ancestors stick around to watch us from the afterlife. And people usually don’t hear them, because every one of us that are alive can only be entertaining to so many of our ancestors. Now you- as far as i know you are the last one of the war gods alive, so they don’t have anywhere else to go but in there,” Phil gave his temple two taps, “and I bet they must be pretty fucking loud.” </p><p>Phil reached for one of Techno’s hands from across the table. Techno had been drumming his fingers anxiously, but Phil’s soothing gesture made him stop, sitting up to ground himself.</p><p>“Right now they must be talking of your piglin instincts, asking for war or the thing that is your specific drive. Do you mind telling me what it is?”</p><p>“It’s blood,” Techno supplied.</p><p>Phil nodded, relieved to notice that the question had brought Techno back a bit. “As you grow older, the voices might start to be more articulate, when they figure out how to deal with each other and with you. You have to be able to control yourself, and I can help so that they don’t become too much or- make you insane.”</p><p>The voices had already started to sound more coherent back when Techno had faced Phil in the War Kingdom. At the time, hearing the usual messy chant inside his head stop to resonate one single chilling sentence - calling him a <i>pig</i> - had been vile. It was nauseating to imagine how far they would go, if that was how they would be acting from now on. If going insane from constant screams inside his head wasn’t normal, and if there was a way for him to not have to deal with it, then he would definitely take it. No matter how warm he felt after listening to the voices, because they had been playing with him, taking his own self control away… </p><p>He would be an idiot if he kept letting them.</p><p>“And what do you want me to give you back? Protection?” he hurriedly spit out.</p><p>“What?!” Phil asked, jerking his head back in surprise.</p><p>“I know my way around an army.” </p><p>Techno’s resolute, monotone voice contrasted brightly with how Phil raised his own, completely dumbfounded. </p><p>“How old are you?!”</p><p>“Fifteen,” they both stared at each other for a moment. Phil squinted at Techno, trying to understand his offer. When it finally clicked, he just resumed his cheery tone and continued as if nothing had happened.</p><p>“So is Wilbur! Anyways, you don't need to do anything mate, you can just be here now, if you want of course! But I don't need anything back.”</p><p>Techno bit his lower lip and frowned, holding back a complaint. He didn’t understand why Phil was being so nice to him, and not understanding things was always frustrating. He felt like he was in the dark, unaware of his surroundings and left to tap his way ahead, only to stub a toe on a door frame or something else stupid. He loathed the feeling.</p><p>Nonetheless, he said nothing. Techno nodded and watched as Phil got up to finish breakfast, whereas he sank back down where he sat and stared out the window. </p><p>He didn’t feel like risking changing Phil’s mind by questioning his motives. So what if he was a charity case? It worked out for him just fine, not to mention that if he just had enough time, he would surely find a way to be useful. For now he could just be protected by someone whose nature was to do literally that.</p><p>The thought was nice and warm, almost like… no, <i>better</i> than what he would get from the voices. He let out a small breath, allowing himself a tiny smile.</p><p>“Dad?” came a drowsy voice from the hallway. Techno’s ears perked up, but he didn’t recognize who it was until he saw Tommy’s older brother come into the kitchen. He wore baggy pajamas and his walnut curls were messy from sleep, yet he looked well rested enough, leaning on the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.</p><p>“Hey wilbur, sit down!” Phil said, gesturing to the table. “You remember Technoblade?” Wilbur studied Techno intently, quickly making him grow self conscious of his own appearance. He cringed as remembered he most probably still had dried blood on his face. “He will be your new br-”</p><p>Philza stopped himself in his tracks, and Techno’s eyes shot up at him as he realized what he had almost said. Techno quickly averted his gaze, staring at the wooden table instead of watching the smug grin that crossed Wilbur’s face as he made his way to sit down.</p><p>“Hello Technoblade, nice to finally meet you,” He offered his hand, and Techno shook it somewhat awkwardly. Wilbur’s tone was pretentious, but it was void of any malice, which put Techno more at ease.</p><p>“Hullo,” Techno greeted with a short smile.</p><p>Wil sprawled himself out, a playful smirk on his lips. “I hope my brother didn't give you too much trouble back at the temple,” he said lazily.</p><p>“Who, Tommy?” Techno chuckled, slouching a little further as to mirror Wilbur. “Oh, he definitely did.”</p><p>Bouncing off of Wilbur came off easily, just as it did with Phil. It was great to unwind after such a tense conversation, as well as a reminder that things didn’t have to be so heavy with them. It was all under control; he would be okay.</p><p>“Huh? I did what?” came another voice from the hallway. This time Techno recognized it as Tommy before he even had the chance to properly enter the kitchen, rubbing the sleep off his eyes. "Who's that?”</p><p>“Tommy, Tommy, sit down. Come meet your new brother!” Wilbur exclaimed proudly, to which both Techno and Tommy responded by looking horrified. Meanwhile, Phil tried desperately to repress a laugh, still busying himself with their food.</p><p>“What-” Tommy’s eyes went from Wil to Techno as his face went from shock, to confusion, to finally shock again. “Technoblade?! What the fuck?!” he practically shouted, too surprised to form a coherent sentence.</p><p>“Come on and eat boys, I really need to sleep and I'm guessing techno does too,” Philza quickly interfered, setting down bowls of porridge on the table in front of the two who were already seated. </p><p>The four of them sat down to eat. Their breakfast, albeit not that fancy, was very different from what Techno was used to. It was a meal consisting of honeyed porridge and buttered toast, along with apple juice and milky tea; very different from the plain steak he’d come to expect from his cooks back at the War Kingdom. Even if Techno questioned the tea with milk in it, the change was very much welcomed, and he ate all he could physically take.</p><p>After calming down and eating themselves awake, they all seemed to adjust to having a fourth person around fairly quickly. Granted, Techno didn’t say much, even if Tommy kept looking back at him; he could feel the drowsiness coming back, so he focused on eating while Wilbur and Tommy talked away. They were apparently updating Phil on what they had been learning at their tutoring lessons, and that was all Techno caught before spacing out. Even if he couldn't quite pay attention to what they said, he was glad to have their company.</p><p>At some point Tommy became noticeably more excited, and Techno tuned back in to catch him telling Phil about a friend called Tubbo who he wanted to meet at the city’s market later. Phil seemed to like the idea of going with Tommy, even if he looked like he was about to crash.</p><p>“We should go together today, show techno around, eh?” Phil suggested, nearly yawning mid sentence.</p><p>Techno probably agreed, but he wouldn't know. His eyes closed for too long more than once, and before he knew he was being led upstairs by Tommy pushing him by his back. He crashed on a soft bed, tucking himself in as the door to the room closed and left him in a semi darkness, only the barest minimum of light getting in through sheer curtains. He made an effort to register where he was and what he was doing, but before he knew, he drifted off, into a quiet, dreamless sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this was really something to write... i hope it's something to read as well. if you can find ANYTHING to comment about please do, comments make my day!!! give me love or hate, i dont care. i WILL be smiling.</p><p>ps.: hope you guys like the 5 am upload.... im going back to my roots</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Dirty crime boys!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as he opened his eyes, Techno shot up, heaving. The walls around him swam in a bright shade of white he didn’t recognize, and his chest clenched in panic.</p><p>It took him a few seconds to remember where he was.</p><p>Safe. With Phil.</p><p>Techno closed his eyes and focused on steadying his breathing. His clothes clinged to his skin, sweat and dry blood working along with soreness to remind him of the events of the previous day. The pit, the crown, his guardian. His decisions.</p><p>It had been a while since it’d hurt so much to sit up in bed.</p><p>He took his time examining his surroundings, willing himself to calm down. The room he was in wasn’t too big, just enough to welcome him, warm and cozy. A soft afternoon light filtered in through the window behind him, shimmering off of his crown that rested on top of a dark wooden dresser. </p><p>Huh. He didn’t recall setting it there.</p><p>Next to it he found a change of clothes, soap and a few other things. Techno sighed, relieved. </p><p>An hour later, he emerged from the bathroom across the hallway dressed in what he assumed were Wilbur’s clothes, judging by how they were just a little bit too big on him. He silently thanked him for throwing in a sweater, shivering slightly as he ran a hand through his wet hair.</p><p>For the most part of the day, the atmosphere in the house seemed still, huddled in an uncanny silence. Techno busied himself in his new room, putting away what few things he had brought in his travel bag, which barely filled up the top drawer of his dresser. </p><p>He put away his oversized crown with the others, opting for once to not wear anything on his head. It felt weird at first, and the ghost weight threw him off in multiple instances. Nevertheless, it would’ve felt weirder to wear it here, where he wasn’t king, and risk upsetting the other three.</p><p>“TECHNOOO!” he heard Tommy shout his name from downstairs, opening the front door with a bang and bolting up the staircase. “Are you ready for an adventure in the great Antarctic Empire?” he puffed up his chest, standing in front of Techno’s door.</p><p>Techno raised a brow. Weren’t they just going to the city market?</p><p>Tommy yanked him by his wrist, and he let himself get dragged out the door. Once at the foyer, though, Tommy stopped to get a cobalt blue cape that had been hastily thrown over a hanger. Techno stood awkwardly as the kid fastened his cape, opening up a chest by the door and fighting off mountains of fabric as he looked for something.</p><p>“Here,” he offered finally, handing Techno a larger cape that was similar to his. It was lined with white fur, from its hood all the way to the ground, and a white sun within a lighter shade of blue embroidered its back. </p><p>Without another word, Tommy was out the door. Techno tossed the cloak over his own shoulders just in time, thankful for the warmth guarding him from the biting wind outside. </p><p>He followed Tommy up the staircase that sloped the hill behind their house, where they met Phil, Wilbur and another boy. They all wore matched capes and smiles, talking their way excitedly past the prismarine palace and into the city.</p><p>Wilbur, Tommy and a shorter kid, Tubbo, walked ahead, leaving Techno and Phil to trail behind. </p><p>Phil gave him a bright smile, stopping to adjust Techno’s shirt’s collar under his cloak. The action made something in the teen’s gut twist.</p><p>A good kind of twist.</p><p>They remained silent until Techno settled on a question to ask, one of many he still had unanswered- How come had he never heard of the Antarctic Empire in his History books, if they were so much larger than the War Kingdom and other reigns alike?</p><p>“We’re a very new kingdom,” Phil said, “I started it as a safe haven to hybrids that disbanded their homes. We don’t get ourselves involved in unnecessary wars,” Techno nodded, feigning interest in a random spot ahead to avoid Phil’s eyes.</p><p>“I had never seen a place where more than one breed got along fine,” Techno answered stiffly, trying to hide his discomfort at the mention of wars as <i>unnecessary.</i></p><p>“I’m pretty sure we’re the firsts to make it work!” Phil ducked his head to greet a few people that waved enthusiastically at their direction. “I owe how fast we grew to them; it’s amazing how much you get done with so many talents combined.”</p><p>Now that they were walking the town’s main road, Techno could see many hybrids, as well as humans, walking and greeting the royal family. Phil was treated with kindness and respect, yet no one acted as if he was above them in any way. Some even exchanged more than a few words with him, as if he wasn’t but a good friend.</p><p>Only then did Techno realize how people waved and smiled at him as well, as if his scarlet eyes and piglin ears weren’t reason to worry. It was so mundane, to walk and not be worshiped or scrutinized, he tensed up and ignored all of them, too put off to properly react.  </p><p>Arriving at the market, a rowdy area with all types of hybrids selling all types of products, the group was quick to disperse itself. Wilbur was the first to disappear in the crowd while Phil tried teaching Techno and the other two the value of money.</p><p>Techno listened intently, although he kept getting distracted by the colorful lanterns that hang above their heads, or golden jewelry glinting in the last sun rays of the day. </p><p>Tommy and Tubbo dragged Phil around, and Techno followed. They caused a commotion everywhere they went, screaming and laughing, and at some point two crows flew in from the roof of a nearby house to steal a silver necklace and drop it at Phil’s face. He returned it to the seller and apologized before scolding the birds like they were his children, while his actual kids stood to the side, muffling their laughter.</p><p>“Hey Techno,” came a low whisper right behind his right ear. </p><p>Techno whipped around, startled, hand going for his waist, only to notice two things: first, that he had obviously lay down the weapons back at the cabin, and then second, that it was just Wilbur behind him.</p><p>Despite his lack of a sword, if looks could kill, Wilbur would be very much dead.</p><p>“Sorry to scare you,” Wil said, an easy grin on his lips. “I just had something I thought you might like. Come with me,” he turned away, slithering a track among the crowd around them. Techno took a deep breath, struggling to mask his scowl, but tagged along anyway.</p><p>He hadn’t meant to be rude, but if Wilbur had been affected he didn’t show it in the slightest. They stopped by a merchant that sold them a stack of sticks, and Wilbur walked away in a happy stride, defying Techno’s skeptic glare.</p><p>Three stands ahead, they traded again. Techno watched Wilbur give him a sly wink before handing the buyer his sticks, getting paid triple what he had originally traded for them in return.</p><p>Techno let out a small noise in surprise, but quickly covered his mouth with his hand so as to not laugh in front of the guy. As soon as they were out of sight though, they both doubled over, giggling hysterically together.</p><p>“What even was that!” Techno asked in disbelief. “What a scam!”</p><p>“I know right?!” Wil exclaimed, rubbing a tear off with the heel of his palm. “You could do this to these idiots all day and they wouldn’t even bat an eye!” </p><p>“Can you even do that?!”</p><p>“Oh, no.” Wilbur’s face dropped, eyes going wide. “We’re dirty crime boys techno, run, run, run!” He yelled, bolting in the opposite direction.</p><p>“Heh?!” Techno shrieked to no one, as he was left alone.</p><p>In no time he was racing too, quickly reaching Wilbur’s tail as they both laughed, filled with adrenaline and a confidence that, soon enough, would no longer be a stranger to Techno.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>dirty crime boys time!!! i love confident scammer brothers :,) hope you guys like them as well!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Birds and angels</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a peaceful dream. </p><p>Snowballs flew around a random clearing in the woods, and the sun made it so bright that their laughs rang ethereal. Wilbur shoved Tommy in a pile of snow because he wouldn’t stop laughing, which only made them both laugh harder. Tubbo showed Techno what a snow angel was, just like he had done the week prior.</p><p>Techno stood there rubbing his neck, confused. <i>It’s fun,</i> Tubbo had said. Despite the cold, he wouldn’t deny it did seem fun. Maybe he should’ve given it a try.</p><p>But then he heard.</p><p>
  <strong>kill.</strong>
</p><p>A whisper. A sword in his hands. Tubbo on the ground. </p><p>
  <strong>blood.</strong>
</p><p>Then a growl. And an order. Repeated. Over and over.</p><p>
  <strong>BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.</strong>
</p><p>A blinding flash. Tubbo still. A messy form of an angel stained, and blood pooling in the snow.</p><p>Rushing out of Tubbo, flooding the clearing, burying his feet. </p><p>His knees.</p><p>His waist. </p><p>A piercing scream.</p><p>Wilbur shouting. Tommy crying.</p><p>Drowning.</p><p>Techno jolted to the side, hitting the hardwood floor of his bedroom with full force.</p><p>
  <strong>BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!1!!1!!!!!!</strong>
</p><p>The voices had been doing this. Talking to him in his sleep. Pestering his dreams, night terrors, whatever he had. Until he woke up.</p><p>And they never stopped. Even after he woke up.</p><p>They kept going.</p><p>Techno sat up and rubbed his eyes, choosing to ignore the wetness that met his hands. He knew he had made a lot of noise. So now he had to wait.</p><p>He started working on tuning out the voices, just like Phil had taught him. Maybe he couldn’t make them shut up yet, but he could try not to listen. He could listen to something else.</p><p>And eventually it began.</p><p>The soft strumming of a guitar, Wilbur’s voice singing along, barely discernible through the wall. Techno’s room was right between Tommy’s and Wilbur’s, so he heard a lot of what went on in the dead of the night.</p><p>On one sight, snoring. On the other, a peaceful hymn.</p><p>As he had done nearly every night before, he got his blankets and curled up against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest. The floor wasn’t as comfortable as his bed, but it kept him in check.</p><p>Maybe one of these nights he should knock on Wilbur’s door. Not tonight though.</p><p>He rested his head against the cold concrete and focused on the muffled sound of guitar strings, soothing him away from the voices and into a flimsy sleep.</p><p>In the morning, Techno was met downstairs with all the others having breakfast except for Phil. He had woken up to Phil heading out before, but had never missed him completely. He knew Phil was at the palace, but still asked where he went as he sat at the kitchen table.</p><p>“Working,” Wil answered, munching on a slice of bread.</p><p>Techno had to stifle a laugh when he noticed how much bleaker their meal was without Phil: all of them were having bread with either strawberry jam or cheese slices. Tubbo hadn’t even toasted his bread.</p><p>“God, Phil's always working!” Tubbo exclaimed, to which Tommy gave a loud grunt.</p><p>“I <i>know…”</i></p><p>“You reckon he’s planning another big build like the west farm he just finished?” Tubbo asked, genuinely interested.</p><p>“Nah, he’s just being a boring prick-” Tommy stopped himself, catching a glare from Wilbur across the table. “What?! The other day you said i was sucking up to dad-”</p><p>“Because you WERE-”</p><p>“And now that I say I miss him you give me that face-”</p><p>“You did not just say that!” </p><p>“Oh yes, yes I did!”</p><p>“You called dad a BORING PRICK-”</p><p>Techno occupied himself with his untoasted slice of bread to avoid egging them on, which he usually found way too fun for their own good. Tommy and Wilbur kept bickering while Tubbo acted as if it was just one more day in the life, because quite honestly, it was.</p><p>They fought and they laughed, and Techno gradually felt more and more at home. By now they had their routine: after breakfast, Phil worked at the palace all day, Wilbur and Tommy had tutoring until lunch, and at noon they met Techno and Tubbo and went to the city, or to the woods, or to anywhere, just to mess around. </p><p>Today they went to the spruce woods around the city, a disturbingly similar setting to the one from Techno’s nightmare earlier.</p><p>Tubbo and Techno walked alongside Wilbur, who played joke songs on his guitar, purposefully out of tune; while Tommy walked ahead, brandishing a stone sword into the air. </p><p>Out of nowhere, in true Tommy fashion, he whipped around and blurted out a question: “Technoblade, what's the worst hybrid?”</p><p>Techno shrugged. “I don’t know many.”</p><p>“What?! How?” Tubbo asked, peering at him behind Wilbur. “You’re a hybrid, you should have many hybrid friends!”</p><p>“Meh. I was kind of the only one around.”</p><p>“Yeah, he's a loser, he didn't have any friends,” Tommy laughed. “Until we met him! We’re best buddies now, eh?”</p><p>“Sure,” Techno dragged out the word, trying to mock Tommy. His attempt was obviously a failure, because even he was grinning when he said it.</p><p>After a pause, Tommy tried again. </p><p>“Anyways, what’s the worst hybrid?”</p><p>“What type of question even is that?!” Techno said, exasperated.</p><p>“No, he has a point,” Wil stopped strumming his guitar to cut in. “But Tommy, if he says he doesn't know many hybrids then we have to help him, we have to show him, right?”</p><p>“Well I know many gods but I just talk with Techno and Phil,” Tubbo said quickly.</p><p>Tommy hummed in response, barely thinking before going on, “I don't know many others honestly.”</p><p>“What! You told me I was a loser!” Techno shrieked, feigning indignation.</p><p>“But I’ve got many friends, I'm super popular!” Tommy stopped in front of them and pointed his sword at Techno, puffing up his chest. “Gods are just afraid of the great Tommy of the Antarctic Empire because I am so great!”</p><p>This made Wilbur stop too, laughing. “Oh, shut up! You just don't get out of the house enough!”</p><p>“Says you, Mr. I’m so smart,” said Tommy, making faces at his brother. “Oh look at me, I’m Wilbur, I like books and girls and the guitar and I'm going to be the king one day-”</p><p>“Stop! Shut up-”</p><p>Before they could get far with their argument, Tubbo chimed in, answering the initial problem.</p><p>“I know which hybrid is the worst one,” he ran to a nearby rock and jumped on top of it, flapping his arms like wings. “I am a god of death-” he said, trying to be menacing, “I’m going to kill your family!”</p><p>Wilbur stopped laughing.</p><p>The mood shift hit all of them like a boulder, yet Tommy doubled down as if it would do anything to ease the tension.</p><p>He pointed his sword at Tubbo this time. “Come on Techno, let's fight against this guy!”</p><p>“Heh?!”</p><p>Although his confusion was mainly directed at Tommy’s joke, Wilbur took this chance to slip in with something much more serious.</p><p>“You don’t like those vultures, do you?”</p><p>Techno turned to look at Wil. His eyes were narrowed, head tilted to the side. To him, Techno’s opinion on gods of death clearly mattered, but there was frankly no opinion he could supply. He couldn’t figure out what Wilbur wanted to hear either, so he settled on what little he had.</p><p>“I don't care. They’re just something to stab.” Just like everything used to be.</p><p>“YEAH!” Tommy yelled, “LET'S START STABBIN’ SHIT-”</p><p>“NO, Tommy, wait a minute.” Wilbur gestured for him to stop and glared back at Techno. “You don't actually like them, do you?” </p><p>Wilbur’s insistence made Techno uncomfortable, and he fidgeted under his gaze. “No, I told you I don't care.”</p><p>“Well, no, because you should!” he waved his arms around emphatically, “Listen here Techno, do you know what vultures are- What they do?”</p><p>He did know, but Tubbo didn’t give him a chance to say it.</p><p>“They're EVIL!” He jumped down from the rock and landed right by Tommy, who seemed unusually tense. </p><p>Wil urged further, “They kill, just because- and what's worse! They <i>like it.”</i></p><p>And then they hear Tommy mumbling, “They ruin people’s lives.”</p><p>Techno’s jaw almost fell open at Tommy’s sudden change. Tubbo eyed his friend cautiously. Everyone seemed to know what was going on, except for Techno.</p><p>He looked at each one of the other three, wide eyed, hoping he could get an explanation. </p><p>All he got was Tubbo, looking him dead in the eyes, saying in an extremely disquieting manner:</p><p>“Everyone hates gods of death.”</p><p>Techno let out an exasperated sigh.</p><p>“Well. I don't know if anyone told you guys but I-” he stopped himself. He what? Killed as well? He couldn’t say that. </p><p>He looked at the three around him. Wilbur had been picking loose threads out of his fraying guitar strap, and Tommy seemed to snap back just in time for Techno to say whatever he had to. So instead of admitting to murder, he opted for a compromise.</p><p>“I’m an aggressive breed too,” he concluded, keeping his voice monotone.</p><p>“See, now that's different” Wil said, coming back to the present, “Because what you like is blood, you don't just find it fun to go around ruining families.”</p><p>“Yeah, you’re like a cool vampire!” Tubbo topped off, though less excited than usual. </p><p>Techno snorted curtly. A cool vampire. That really wasn’t how he was at all.</p><p>They were right in the sense that he didn’t find any joy in death itself, because it had always been collateral damage to him. Still, he did kill, and had never given it much thought before Philza.</p><p>“Plus,” said Tubbo again, “You’re a war god, so you don't have to kill, right? You just really, really like to fight-”</p><p>Tommy cut right in, “Wait, aren't gods of war supposed to be super strong against vulture bastards?!” </p><p>“I guess.” Techno answered.</p><p>“They’re natural rivals, Tommy.” said Wilbur.</p><p>“Right! Then fight me!” Tommy jumps right in front of Techno and starts batting his arms up and down, just like Tubbo had done before. “Look at me, kill me-” Techno winced. “I’m a death god Techno!”</p><p>It might have been a joke to Tommy, but it wasn’t to Techno. Just considering the fight had him feeling giddy, and he had dealt with himself - and with the voices - enough to know how badly this could go.</p><p>And how fast too.</p><p>One moment it would be Tommy in front of him, and the next-</p><p>
  <strong>blood.</strong>
</p><p>“I’m not fighting you Tommy.”</p><p>“Why not! Come on! We've fought so many times and you always stare into the sky like it's not with you when we try to make you fight!” </p><p>“Yeah, because I'm a war god, I like to fight!”</p><p>“Fight me then!”</p><p>“Tommy, think straight,” Wilbur said wearily, “Techno won't fight you.”</p><p>“Why not! Come on Techno! Fight me!”</p><p>On any other day, Techno would have laughed it off by now. But today his head spun. </p><p>It had been a while since he had left the War Kingdom, and he hadn’t seen a drop of blood in the meantime. And he had been able to control himself with what Phil had taught him- maybe, just maybe he could-</p><p>No. He couldn’t risk <i>killing</i> Tommy! What even was that logic?! If he had the chance, and the voices asked for it, Techno was more than prone to losing every bit of sanity he had in favor of being possessed by bloodlust. </p><p>If he didn’t fight then maybe the voices would only become louder. But if he did fight then they would definitely cry out.</p><p>Wilbur’s eyes darted from Tommy to Techno. He’d noticed Techno hesitated.</p><p>He bit his lip.</p><p>“Give me your sword Tommy.” After a few protests, Tommy handed Wil the stone sword. Wilbur turned to Techno, loosening up his shoulders and neck. “How about this. I fight you instead.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>that was so much fucking dialogue holy shit-</p><p>but i hope you guys like it as much i do! these boys are a lot of fun to write... this chapter had to be broken in two because they just talk too fucking much and i like brothers bickering too much to leave it out. so yeah! tell me what was your favorite part!!</p><p>see you soon with a fight and a few voices....</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. A fight and a few voices</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <strong>TRIGGER WARNING FOR GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF WOUND / INJURY, EXPOSED BONE !!!!!! </strong>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What?!”</p><p>Techno and Tommy turned to face Wil, both embodying the perfect mix of shock and confusion.</p><p>Wilbur paid them little attention. He reached for a strap on his waist and held out a wooden axe to Techno. “See? That way we don’t hurt each other.”</p><p>Techno bit back a smirk. “Oh I could do some damage, alright.” </p><p>He shook his head dismissively, about to turn down the offer, when he stopped himself.</p><p>Wilbur looked at him patiently, offering a compromise. He had seen how shifty Techno was at the mention of sparring, how he stepped back and tried to conceal heavy, deep breaths. He knew of Techno’s nature, he knew he was prone to aggression, and he was still offering him a fight.</p><p>He had stepped up to protect Tommy, and to give Techno a chance to let his instincts loose. He knew what he was doing, and even dueling, Techno had seen Wil get his way before. So maybe-</p><p>Maybe this was his chance. They could spar, and shut the voices up for a while. They could handle it. </p><p>Reluctantly, Techno reached for the axe. </p><p>Wilbur sported an easy grin as he stepped back, handing his cape to Tommy. While Techno followed suit, positioning himself opposite to Wilbur where they stood amidst the trees, Wilbur ceremoniously brought his sword up to his upper arms and cut off each of his shirts’ sleeves.</p><p>Both Tommy and Tubbo were nearly jumping from excitement, but Tommy couldn’t let that slip without rolling his eyes and mocking his brother for being dramatic.</p><p>Wilbur joked back, but he tied the scraps of fabric to one of his belt loops regardless. Techno’s shoulders slacked slightly.</p><p>Wil had a plan.</p><p>Now, Techno wouldn’t fault himself too much to admit that he was nervous. So much could go wrong here, and if it did, it would all be over. He could fail, and they would all be done, bloody snow, disfigured corpses lying still on frozen ground.</p><p>No more warm laughs, no more home. No more gentle guitar strings guiding him away…</p><p>Only voices.</p><p>Cold, harsh demands, and volatile highs. God, what would Phil think of him? A shiver ran down his spine, sick from a thought he couldn’t even stomach.</p><p>Techno looked down at the weapon in his hands, his grip so tight the axe quavered. He was capable. He could control himself.</p><p>The voices threatened to make themselves heard, but if he focused enough, they sounded distant, muffled. Instead, he felt the rush of adrenaline they sent him as they realized. </p><p>He was about to fight.</p><p>He smiled, and Wilbur smiled back.</p><p>Before he knew, Wilbur was running. He bolted into the mass of tree trunks and white covered branches, and Techno rushed after him, close on his tail. </p><p>Screams and cheers from Tommy and Tubbo followed them at first, but they were quickly left behind, becoming fainter and fainter the longer they ran.</p><p>Wilbur jumped over large rocks and turned sharply at seemingly random places, navigating as if the spruce woods were but a maze in a game he’d played thousands of times over. Techno occasionally tripped over and fell, grazing the heel of his palms and covering his knees in mud, but he never once lost sight of Wil, no matter how much ahead he got.</p><p>And when he eventually disappeared, it wasn’t for long.</p><p>Wilbur had led him into a clearing, brightly basked in sunlight and fresh, undisturbed snow. There Wil waited, holding his sword ahead of him with both hands. </p><p>Techno barely gave himself time to catch his breath, going in as soon as he saw Wilbur was giving him the chance.</p><p>Techno brought his axe up, and then down, and Wilbur blocked with excellence. Despite brandishing the stronger weapon of the two, Wilbur mostly defended himself, matching Techno’s force and enthusiasm every time they clashed. He put up a great fight, taking any chance he had to get back at Techno, while still evading enough that it was obvious he wasn’t trying to win.</p><p>“You don’t need to tire me out,” Techno heaved, “we’re not really fighting fair,” he said, dodging a swing at his neck.</p><p>If Wilbur kept going for attacks like these, they would probably be able to end the battle rather quickly. Instead he retreated, and let Techno go at him all he liked.</p><p>“Well,” Wilbur chuckled, “I’m no war god.”</p><p>Anyhow, he kept up very well. As something inside Techno grew louder and his attacks gradually became unconstrained, Wil consistently ducked and blocked, sometimes slipping up but always catching himself, deflecting just enough to not lose much ground. Until-</p><p>A harsher blow.</p><p>Techno’s axe swished way too close to Wil’s throat, and he threw himself back with all his might to avoid being slashed open. He fell down on cold, wet ground, elbows screaming from absorbing the greater impact.</p><p>He furrowed his brows, looking up at Techno. </p><p>He looked the most piglin-like Wilbur had seen him so far. His usually bright ruby eyes were darkened, his hair disheveled, and looking down at Wilbur, he <i>snarled,</i> tusks peeking out from his bottom lip.</p><p>Wilbur’s breath hitched, and he barely had time to process what came next.</p><p>Tommy and Tubbo arrived at the clearing just in time to see Techno swing down his axe, and Wilbur desperately try to scramble away from him, and-</p><p>An ear-splitting scream.</p><p>“WIL?!” Tommy shrieked, and Tubbo grasped his arm to stop him from running to his brother.</p><p>Techno wrenched his axe out from where it had carved into Wilbur’s leg, tearing open the skin of his shin. In response, a gasp and a sharp inhale, through gritted teeth.</p><p>Techno hardly heard them.</p><p>He stared at Wilbur’s wound, skin ripped open and the unmistakable white gash of exposed bone. And- <strong>blood.</strong></p><p>Blood pouring, <i>gushing</i> out of it. In streams and rivers, pooling on the snow, covering first Wilbur’s ripped pant leg, then Techno’s feet, then the whole clearing.</p><p>He staggered back, panting, unable to notice how much Wilbur shivered, and how much he was shivering himself. </p><p>
  <strong>BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!!1!!!!!!!!!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!</strong>
</p><p>Warm.</p><p>His ears were ringing as he watched thick, gooey red drip from the wooden blade he held.</p><p>Fuzzy.</p><p>Rocks and sticks were thrown at him from behind, and he whipped around to see Tommy and Tubbo waving their arms and mouthing something he couldn’t make out.</p><p>Techno growled and hurried towards them, truly seeing red- everywhere there was snow now glowed scarlet. The air smelled metallic.</p><p>
  <strong>KILL KILL KILL KILL!!!!!!!!</strong>
</p><p>At the edge of the clearing, Techno could see both the boys climbing up a tree, trying to get out of his reach. While Tubbo successfully did so, Tommy was less lucky.</p><p>He dangled from a branch just above Techno, pulling himself up while Tubbo helped him- </p><p>Techno seized him by his cape, drawing him towards the ground. </p><p>Tommy choked, screaming desperately for Tubbo, who hurried to set his friend free from the cloak at his throat. Techno watched as the blue fabric, heavy and dark from blood, fell from Tommy’s back onto him, covering his eyes for a moment before he brushed it away.</p><p>He paused. Looked at the cloak on the ground.</p><p>It hadn’t smelled of blood. It hadn’t felt soaked wet.</p><p>It had smelled of black tea and buttered toast. </p><p>Home. </p><p>What was he doing?</p><p>
  <i>Oh.</i>
</p><p>Had he ruined everything?</p><p>
  <strong>MURDER!!!!!!! </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>BLOOD BLOOD!!!!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>E E EE E E EE E E EEE</strong>
</p><p>“What?!” He covered his ears with both hands, which only served to smudge his face with blood from his axe and amplify the voices. “Stop! SHUT UP!”</p><p>“TECHNOBLADE!” he heard Wilbur yell.</p><p>Tommy grimaced as he noticed his brother’s voice had wavered slightly, but Techno didn’t notice a thing. He just walked in Wilbur’s direction, watching the world start to spin around him. </p><p>What was he doing? <i>Why?!</i></p><p>All he heard was Wilbur’s voice, the one that had been putting him to sleep for weeks, the one that smiled and chuckled at him, the one that made him feel safe and loved.</p><p>Wilbur, on the opposite side of the clearing, on top of a tree to get away from him.</p><p>Wilbur, who had littered the ground with empty potion bottles and currently tied the sleeves of his shirt around his injured shin. </p><p>That Techno had slashed a chunk off of.</p><p>He blinked one, two, three times. The snow wasn’t red anymore, but Wilbur was saying something, and Techno didn’t understand a word. He stared up at him, steadying his breathing, focusing on Wil’s voice instead of on the voices.</p><p>He had already messed up, he had messed up his chances with all of them, hadn’t he?!</p><p>He had to control himself. He had to be able to do it. </p><p>
  <strong>you’re not. you already lost it.</strong>
</p><p>“SHUT UP!” </p><p>Techno looked down, whole body trembling. He avoided the blood on his hands, he avoided the blood on his axe, he avoided the blood that seeped through Wilbur’s makeshift bandage.</p><p>But before he could pull himself together, Wilbur dropped on top of him, sending them rolling on the ground.</p><p>Techno was immediately back to survival mode, thrashing and kicking under Wilbur as he tried to pry his axe away.</p><p>A knee to his gut later, Techno finally let go of the weapon. Wilbur chucked it out of sight, but Techno forcibly took the stone sword from Wilbur instead, and scrambled to get up from under him.</p><p>If Wilbur’s heart was already racing, it nearly shot out of his mouth when he realized his back was once again pressed against snow, no escape from Techno’s next attack. </p><p>He tossed to the side just in time to watch the sword fly to where his head just was, plunging itself into the dirt.</p><p>Wilbur’s blood ran cold. His eyes shot from the blade, to Techno, terrified.</p><p>“Techno, STOP!” Wilbur wearily shoved Techno away as he reached for the sword again.</p><p>Before he could touch it, he was frozen in place. </p><p>For the first time since this mess had started, Techno looked Wil in the eyes. </p><p>And he saw tears.</p><p>Techno shrinked, stumbling backwards.</p><p>Wilbur was crying.</p><p>And it was his fault.</p><p>He tripped, and before he knew he was the one sitting down on the snow.</p><p>Looking up, he saw a blurred Wilbur through his own tears, pointing the sword directly at his throat. </p><p>Wilbur heaved when he snarled at Techno.</p><p>“Get it. Together.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>fun fact, this was originally going to be a semi-fluffy chapter! i know, things went south. i saw all the comments bieng so excited last chapter, i just had to go all in :) so thanks for that lmao</p><p>i also changed like the next 4 chapters to fit more angst into this one. i've got the main beats of the story down but i'm writing as i go, and comments telling me what they liked or what they think will happen have been really helpful!! i hope you guys liked this one too hehe</p><p>p.s.: i almost named this "A relapse of judgment" because wow, two dumbasses.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Welcome home, Theseus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Techno curled up on bloody, muddy snow, quivering. Wilbur leaned on Tommy’s shoulders, struggling to keep himself awake, covered in cold sweat.</p><p>That was the scene that met Phil when Tubbo ushered him into the clearing.</p><p>And it made him furious.</p><p>You could just tell by the way he walked up to them, and how he growled for Tubbo to go home. Techno risked a glance up at his face, and his heart immediately sank from how much it was contorted in anger: his lips were in a tight line, and his jaw was clenched to the point of pain. </p><p>What irked deepest in Techno’s chest though was how his furrowed brows weren’t just angry. When Phil glowered at them, he looked genuinely worried, almost hurt.</p><p>Techno had to look away.</p><p>With a gentle touch, Phil picked Wilbur up in his arms. Techno recoiled from his wings, but Phil steered him all the way back home regardless.</p><p>Techno kept his head low. If he met Phil’s eyes again, he feared he might crumple to the ground and <i>die.</i> </p><p>Or worse, hear <i>them</i> again.</p><p>So Techno tuned to the crunch of their footsteps, Wilbur’s heavy breathing, Tommy’s eventual flat, antsy laughs. They were all eerily quiet.</p><p>And that did nothing but amplify the dread that followed each of Phil’s long, sullen sighs.</p><p>They all had a long, dire weekend ahead of them. </p><p>Throughout the next few days, Tommy turned to pacing the house up and down, and Phil had to take time off work to take care of Wil, who came down with a fever and a very nasty, infected wound. </p><p>Who would’ve guessed climbing up a tree with a bone out against the grating bark would leave him bedridden?</p><p>Likewise, Techno never once left his room. It made him impossibly fidgety, to stay put and anxious, at the mercy of his own head. </p><p>But he wouldn’t leave. On the second day, he went as far as locking himself in and sliding the key under the door out to the hallway, afraid of what might happen if the voices got to him again.</p><p>Because god, they tried.</p><p>They asked him to go out there and finish Wil off, throw Tommy out the window for instigating this mess, and punch Phil square in the face for... what exactly?</p><p>He despised every minute of it. He just had to sit there, listening - and when he eventually got a distraction, it was the other three, yelling like Techno had never even imagined they could, as Phil lectured Tommy and Wilbur to oblivion.</p><p>It definitely wasn’t a pleasant conversation to eavesdrop, but what made it impossibly worse was imagining that soon it would be Techno’s turn. He waited, and waited, and it never came.</p><p>He didn’t know if he should be glad or worried, but they seemed to quiet down and Phil never got around to kicking Techno out of the house. So at least he had that going for him.</p><p>A part of him wanted Phil to come to him, ask him if he was okay. But the other didn’t want to risk getting yelled at, so he remained silent.</p><p>He stared at his door from across the room, sat in bed, back against the cold concrete wall. The voices were the only thing happening anyways, and he accidentally focused on them-</p><p>And then they completely took over.</p><p>Not in the usual way though. Just like Phil had said, they were starting to sound more coherent, and it was as alarming as it was fascinating. When they calmed down from screaming bloody murder, they had quite an interesting chat inside his head; and not all of them were mean spirited.</p><p>Even the ones that were just seemed to be chasing the same high he did when they gave him bloodlust. They wanted excitement, and instincts were always reliable for that. </p><p>They even answered him when he asked questions, although disorderly once again. He argued with them about the disaster they caused earlier, and spent the day trying to understand them, the new them.</p><p>Suddenly it was pitch black outside his window again, and he found himself growing at least a little fond of the voices.</p><p>They were more than using him for blood, giving him the fuzzy feeling to use him as a tool like they had done back at the War Kingdom. Now they… seemed to care for some reason. </p><p>They were still rowdy and difficult, as coherent as they sounded, but now voiced real concerns: <b>is dadza mad????? MADZA???? they hate you forever now. TECHNO HOMELESS ARC??? wilbur hates you. you did that to him.</b></p><p>Those were just his insecurities. How could he hate them for that?</p><p>He chewed on his lip as he corrected them. “May I remind you that <i>you</i> did that-”</p><p>
  <b>you were the one with the axe.</b>
</p><p>He sighed, half annoyed and half sad.</p><p>“Techno?” Tommy’s voice cut through his thoughts and through the silent night, making Techno jump from bed. “Are you talking to yourself in there?”</p><p>Techno paused for a second before walking up to the door of his room. The words spilled out of his mouth before he could make sense of what he was saying, and the result was this: “I was uh, talking to chat.”</p><p>“What?!” Techno cringed. Tommy’s voice was hoarse from sleep, but he was still too loud for the hour.</p><p>“The voices. They were talking with each other, so I named them that.” Silence. Awkward. Techno cleared his throat. “Why are you still awake, Tommy?”</p><p>Tommy muttered back, “Was having a nightmare.”</p><p>“Sounds fun.”</p><p>Again, silence. Until Tommy burst again.</p><p>“Look, I’m sorry,” he scoffed, “for getting us in trouble. Alright?” Seriously?! Is that what Tommy was worried about? “It wasn’t my fault but it's fine now, you’re fine now. Plus, Wil is already blaming himself enough-” he trailed off before returning to his point, voice more upbeat. “Let's put it past us, shall we?”</p><p>Techno nearly shut down from whiplash, but answered anyway. “Tommy, it's not that simple.”</p><p>“Why not?” his voice pitched higher, as if he genuinely couldn’t grasp whatever was happening here. Had he not seen the same scene Techno had at the clearing?</p><p>Techno just rest his forehead against the door, completely at a loss for words. Tommy took his silence as an opportunity to keep talking.</p><p>“I’ll get dad. He can put us to bed.”</p><p>And just like that, he was gone. Techno didn’t know whether to be grateful or scared, but there was nothing he could do to stop them- he saw the door handle shake and he bolted back to bed in the time it took the two outside to realize the key was on the floor.</p><p>Techno watched silently as a drowsy Phil entered his room, a book in hands and Tommy hiding behind him. The kid seemed to be trying to hide the fact that he was hiding, his back too straight for someone that had just been woken up by a nightmare. Tommy sat on the opposite end of the bed, and Phil inserted himself between them.</p><p>Techno made a point not to look directly at Phil’s face, but sneaking glances only revealed bags under his eyes and a strange, but familiar, easy smile. So Phil was… happy? </p><p>As much as being confused was annoying, Phil was acting normal. Techno slowly breathed easier, finally calming down.</p><p>Phil read them a story about a hero called Theseus. Tommy shifted to rest his head on Phil’s lap, and in no time he was practically snoring. Techno however, listened intently, glad to focus on Phil’s calm, soothing tone, and mesmerized by the concept of a story that had nothing to do with real people, as Phil explained before starting it.</p><p>As much as he had read about geography, war tactics or even stories of great wars of the past, Techno had never heard of ‘fiction’. He found it so interesting he started making a few questions here and there, and when Phil was glad to answer and elaborate, Techno dived head first into this new world in front of him.</p><p>Phil gave him space to question the story and its meaning, its morals, everything judgement free. Techno buzzed from excitement, until Phil made a comment that caught him off guard.</p><p>“Hero or not, you’ll never control what people think of you. And no matter what they say, you’re not your instincts.”</p><p>Techno’s eyes glittered at Phil, unable to comprehend how- Why?! </p><p>He had fucked up so bad earlier, and here was this man, smiling softly at him, through all his grogginess, happy to help him with anything he needed.</p><p>Techno nodded, ignoring the fact that his eyes were stinging.</p><p>“Phil, uh- can... I-“ he looked down at his hands, and weakly reached them out, opening his arms to Phil. God, why was he like this. His cheeks burned hot, but he didn’t back down; he just… needed a hug.</p><p>“Sure mate, come here,” was his answer, coated in a warm smile.</p><p>Phil pulled Techno close, and hugged him so tight they felt each other’s heart beat. Techno let out a shaky breath and buried his head further in Phil’s chest, happy that his nightshirt smelled faintly of toast- of home.</p><p>Phil draped his wings around both his boys, drifting off against him. He rested his head against the wall behind them, and let out a contented sigh. </p><p>They were okay.</p><p>Here, they were safe.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>bro. i fucking cried. did you? be honest.</p><p>something happened last week that threw me super off of writing, and i had to write other stuff to get back to the zone before writing fluff for this chapter. but now i'm back! and if you're interested, i now have two other works, wilbur centric, and very much hurt no comfort. </p><p>subscribe to me for other short stories and stabs in the heart!!</p><p>OH ALSO!!! this arc is planned to end in chapter 14, but don't worry!! On He Goes got renewed for yet another arc!!!!! And you better bet your ass things are going to be escalating!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Supercut</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What are you doing?”</p>
<p>Startled, Techno looked up from the book he’d been reading in bed to find Wilbur at his bedroom door.</p>
<p>It was the middle of the afternoon, and soft sunrays of the South Pole’s summer glowed through the window and off the white walls. Wilbur’s easy stance complemented the golden glimmer of the room, shoulders slacking slightly as he ducked his head past the doorframe.</p>
<p>Techno closed the book in his hands to look at the cover. It was still the same book Phil had read him the other night. “Greek Myths, volume two,” he read. Wilbur hummed in response.</p>
<p>“You like reading?” he mused, eyes glinting.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Techno shrugged, feeling awkward as he looked back up at Wilbur. It was the first time in weeks he’d been out of bed, and while it wasn’t the first time they had talked since their fight, it was the first time they exchanged more than three words each.</p>
<p>“Dad said you’re new to the classics-” he leaned back against the doorframe, “do you want to see something cool, Techno?”</p>
<p>Wilbur kept covertly shifting his weight to his left leg, the one that hadn’t been- Well, slashed open. Techno raised an eyebrow at him. </p>
<p>Voice stoic, he pried, “Are you sure?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, come on!” Wilbur straightened up and beckoned him excitedly, walking away. Techno supposed he did look better than when he’d had a fever, so he dropped the book and followed Wil out the door.</p>
<p>Going down the stairs, Techno at least got confirmation that Wilbur was definitely limping. Wil refused to acknowledge it, gripping the railing as if his life depended on the polished darkwood. If he had looked back, Techno would’ve offered help, but he seemed determined not to.</p>
<p>And for the sake of both of their prides, neither mentioned how scruffy they looked after weeks spent inside. Especially for royalty, they were severely underdressed, their velvet blue cloaks contrasting their hoodies and matted hair. Neither one of them wore crowns on the daily, but they at least made an effort to look presentable. Not today though.</p>
<p>Wilbur climbed the stone steps to the castle, up the snowy hill. Behind him, Techno squinted his eyes, uncomfortable with the amount of light reflected off the white covered ground. But they took their time, and Techno made an active effort to watch Wilbur in case he needed help.</p>
<p>He did, indeed, need help. Wilbur tripped, and without missing a beat, Techno braced him, holding his arms and steadying him back up. Still, they said nothing about it. With a muttered “Thanks,” that sounded more rushed than it tried sounding natural, Wilbur put his chin up and charged forward.</p>
<p>Techno couldn’t help but cringe at their silence. His right hand went to his waist, looking for the hilt of a sword that was no longer there. Instead, he settled for hugging himself beneath the cloak, nails digging at his sides.</p>
<p>Slipping past a side door, they entered the castle, and Techno’s brain stuttered for a second when he realized he had never been there. Was he even allowed in? He shot a look at Wilbur, then at the prismarine crystals that ladened the walls.  </p>
<p>They walked past a few people, and no one did much but bow down to Wilbur. Techno supposed he was fine, shifting his attention to the tall windows to their right, the stained glass filtering the warm sunlight and painting their way in shades of emerald green and strawberry red.</p>
<p>At the end of the hallway, Wilbur turned a corner into a grand dining room, a table for maybe thirty people in its center, complete with a blue tinged crystal chandelier hanging off the tall ceiling.</p>
<p>“If we ever have a party you know where we’re eating,” Wilbur said, crossing the room to a set of double doors to their right. </p>
<p>Techno slacked behind, taking in the room around them. When he looked back at Wil, he had opened the doors to reveal a circular courtyard, paved with sky blue bricks and shielded from the cold by a glass dome roof.</p>
<p>Right in front of them, in the middle of the open area, was a wooden statue of the Empire’s symbol, a striped sun, enclosed in a set of wings. To their left, right and on the opposite side of the courtyard, tall, glass doors gave them glimpses of different rooms.</p>
<p>“There we have a greenhouse,” Wilbur pointed to their right, to a room painted ivory and filled with all kinds of greenery, “and there is dad’s personal office,” he pointed to the room across from them before covering his mouth to whisper, “there’s a trapdoor to some kind of basement behind his desk, but you didn’t hear that from me,” he finished, winking conspicuously.</p>
<p>“Alright,” Techno laughed.</p>
<p>“And this,” Wilbur walked to the last room, to their left. “Is one of my favorite places.”</p>
<p>Behind the glass Techno saw books, thousands of them. Shelves that extended from the floor to the ceiling covered every inch of the walls, and inside, they were hugged by not only warmth, but by the scent of old books, like oak and linen merging in a cozy spell of familiarity.</p>
<p>It must have been pretty obvious how happy this room made Techno feel, because Wilbur glanced at him sporting a proud grin. He slided a ladder to the far end of a shelf, looking for something. “What’s your favorite book?”</p>
<p>Techno had to think before answering. “The Art of War.”</p>
<p>Wilbur laughed, shaking his head. “<i>Words</i> should be your greatest weapon, y’know.” He climbed up the ladder with some difficulty, half saying it to himself.</p>
<p>“Wil-” Techno paused, anxious. “Don’t you think you should be taking it easy on the leg?”</p>
<p>“Nah, I’m fine,” he grabbed a book off the shelf, “It’s okay. I really don’t mind.”</p>
<p>He handed an old looking book to Techno. Running a hand on its hardback green cover, he read <i>The Odyssey,</i> written in golden letters.</p>
<p>As Techno looked at Wilbur, already looking for a second book for him, he couldn’t place why on Earth his heart was thumping so hard against his ribcage. He’d thought he was warm before, with the cloak and all, but now, something even warmer flooded his chest. </p>
<p>“Thank you,” he mumbled, under his breath.</p>
<p>The moment it escaped his lips, he knew he was talking about more than just literature. By the way Wilbur froze, he had a feeling he knew that, too.</p>
<p>Techno gripped the book harder. If it weren’t for it, Techno wouldn’t have known where to put his hands.</p>
<p>Wilbur looked down to the side, as if looking Techno in the eyes would hurt more than any blade. With a timid, sincere smile, he said all there was to say.</p>
<p>“No worries, man.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>With all of them now able to get out of the house, they fell back to their usual routine.</p>
<p>Except that understandably, Techno refused to go out with Tommy and Tubbo to their wacky adventures, so they hanged around the courtyard instead. </p>
<p>Techno still spent the mornings alone, while the others had tutoring (or in Tubbo’s case, regular school), but now he left the house early with all of them and headed to the library. </p>
<p>Even in the afternoons, which the boys all spent together, reading became a regular activity, despite Tommy’s initial protests. Techno very quickly found out that the statue in the middle of the courtyard had to do not only with the Antarctic Empire, but with the queen apparently. Wilbur liked to sit or lay down around it to read, and they would all huddle around him to listen and sometimes fall asleep, if they had eaten too much for lunch.</p>
<p>The only breaks to their schedule were the occasions in which Phil set aside some time to teach Techno. He always looked forward to these lessons - it was nice to learn about the real world rather than just war tactics for once.</p>
<p>It obviously helped that it was Phil, and that all they did were things like mining. According to Phil, it was important to not lose touch with their people and with the kingdom. Techno got to keep his diamonds, netherite and emeralds, so he wasn’t complaining.</p>
<p>The first time they found an emerald together, Phil insisted that Techno mined it, and thanks to his Fortune III pickaxe, he got exactly four emeralds out of it. That same day, back at home, he gave one to Wilbur, one to Tommy, and one to Phil. </p>
<p>He had been so red with embarrassment that Wil had to intervene (that is, after teasing him about it). He came up with the idea of making themselves necklaces and earrings out of it, and a few hours later, they were all screaming at each other in the bathroom because Wilbur decided to pierce Phil’s and Techno’s ears himself. Phil even teared up a bit, and Tommy cried, only from laughter instead of a needle.</p>
<p>Now Techno had two earrings. Both on his left ear: one, an emerald from his new family; the other, a diamond from his old one.</p>
<p>Another reason why Phil’s lessons were fun was that he was just fun in general. Every day they spent together brought them closer, the tune of their laughs and open, earnest discussions now akin to one of Wilburs’ songs.<br/>Phil knew a lot about so much more than just being a hybrid, or leading a kingdom. Before he and his wife had settled down to build the Antarctic Empire, they had traveled the world, and many of Phil’s stories came from that time.</p>
<p>Techno indulged himself in these tales, and Phil rivaled him in enthusiasm when answering his questions. Talk between them flowed naturally, complete with genuine curiosity, an absolute lack of judgement, and mutual understanding.</p>
<p>With some of the lessons, Techno found that he didn’t bother doing anything, as long as it was with, or for Phil.</p>
<p>The most clear instance of this was when they’d been on the greenhouse, and Phil taught Techno how to plant potatoes. At first, he had found it incredibly boring, but he took in a deep breath and went to work, as Phil instructed. A few days later, however, there he was, by himself, back at the greenhouse, checking up on his potatoes during his reading breaks.</p>
<p>When Tubbo pointed out this new odd habit of his, Techno and Tommy somehow ended up in a competition to see who could plant more potatoes. Needless to say, Wilbur was very confused to find them at the greenhouse that day, Techno focused on some dirt like a sweaty herbology nerd, and the other two running around with various gardening tools in hand.</p>
<p>Wilbur stopped by Techno and crouched to level with him near the pots.</p>
<p>“What’s all the fuss about?”</p>
<p>Techno barely spared him a glance. “I’m obliterating these orphans.”</p>
<p>Wilbur choked on a laugh, more confused than he had started.</p>
<p>“We are at war!” Tubbo roared from behind them.</p>
<p>Wilbur asked Techno to elaborate, and it was only then that he seemed to snap out of his task-induced stupor.</p>
<p>“Tommy’s half-orphan, and Tubbo is a complete orphan. So they’re getting <i>destroyed,”</i> he provided.</p>
<p>Now openly laughing, Wilbur asked, “Wait, but aren’t you a complete orphan then?!”</p>
<p>“Technically,” Techno chuckled, “my parents live through the voices in my head, so no.”</p>
<p>Wilbur nodded, thinking. “Does that mean that I’m an orphan too?”</p>
<p>“Uh- half. Yeah.”</p>
<p>Wilbur hummed in response. After a second more of pondering, he shot upwards, running to the other side of the room. “Tommy, get me a hose!”</p>
<p>“YEAH!!! We’re gonna make you suck on those taters, Techno!”</p>
<p>An hour later, a very tired Phil came in, straight out of an important meeting. Techno convinced him to join his side, ‘to even the teams’, but with a god of nurturing on your side, there’s not much you can do to lose a farming war.</p>
<p>Back at home, Tubbo said he was glad they didn’t have anything potato for dinner. </p>
<p>Pretty much everyone agreed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you guys think of this writing style, please!</p>
<p>this is the calm before the storm &gt;:)</p>
<p>i didn't feel like writing the last scene of the chapter today but i wanted to post so we might have one extra chapter to this arc. that is all. see you in comments!! also please ask for things!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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